Category Archives: survivor

Blog Day 2009 for MBSMA: Speak up NOW!

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Recently, I’ve joined forces with Susan Dowd Stone over at Perinatal Pro to support The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHER’S Act (or MBSMA.

I strongly support the passage of this legislation. I have been out in the cold without resources. It’s not a pretty place to be! I will not let another Mother struggle the way I have on my watch!

On April 20th, 2009, we’re holding an online rally. One we hope will spill over into the phone lines of the Senate H.E.L.P Committee and onto the desks of Senators on Mother’s Day, showcasing the support America has for the MBSMA!

The focus of this rally is to increase signatures to a growing list of supporters at Perinatal Pro and encourage phone calls to the Senate H.E.L.P. Committee in support of the MBSMA.

Grand Central for this rally will be here at Sharing the Journey where we’ll be featuring an interview with Mary Jo Codey, another tireless advocate for the MBSMA!

We’ll also have a list set up for you to register your blog posts. (Guidelines for participation in this list will be posted later this week) Don’t worry, if you don’t have a blog you can still participate by leaving a comment to let us know you’ve phoned the H.E.L.P. Committee. You’re also encouraged to email, twitter, or share the event at Facebook. (Click here for the Facebook Cause associated with this event)

Contact information for the H.E.L.P. Committee, a call script, and a quick Postpartum Mood Disorder Fact Sheet will also be provided. Just in case you’re wondering, no, you don’t have to be from the state of any of the H.E.L.P. Committee Members. It’s a federal committee so anyone can contact them regarding legislation in review.

The MBS MOTHER’S Act needs to be passed now. American Mothers cannot wait any longer. They do not deserve to suffer in silence and fear judgment from loved ones, from their community. They deserve to be educated about Postpartum Mood Disorders so they won’t feel guilty or confused when the harsh waves come crashing down around them after the birth of a loved child.

We’re not asking much.

Just your voice in support of the MBS MOTHER’S Act in one post at your blog. Your name added to the list of supporters at Perinatal Pro.

And in return you can rest easy knowing that you have brought light to a new Mother’s world.

Devastating Illness needs our attention

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The Meadville Tribune published a local opinion column today by Carla J. Behr. In this article, she examines Postpartum Depression’s need for attention. You can read it by clicking here.

My favorite part of the article?

When Carla writes, “There is no room for ignorance because making a difference in the lives of women suffering postpartum depression involves a whole community.”

She is so right.

Maternal Depression-It’s not so black and white

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Did you suffer from Postpartum Depression? Tell your story and help others. Join survivor of Postpartum Depression, Cynthia N Olkie, in sharing your story of PPD.

Cynthia is putting together a book that will feature the stories and photos of other PPD survivors in an effort to increase PPD awareness and services. A portion of the proceeds will go directly to Postpartum Support International (www.postpartum.net).

Cynthia is looking for stories, maximum 650 words in length and written in the first person. It can be a narrative story or a poem. If selected and live within the Los Angeles area, Cynthia will do a complimentary photo session. Your story along with an artful image(s) from your photo session will be featured. In exchange for your submission, you will be given an 8×10 image of your choice and a copy of the image that is featured in the book. Not to mention, the satisfaction that you are helping other mothers and families that are struggling with postpartum depression.

Please submit your story and questions to: fleurphoto@aol.com. Cynthia has created a blog to chronicle her experience with getting this book off the ground and is open to all feedback.

Please visit the blog at : http://itsnotsoblackandwhite.blogspot.com/

Sharing the Journey with Rachel Roberts, Mrs. Tulsa International

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I’m not sure how I came to know about Rachel Roberts. It may have been through Cheryl Jazzar or it may have been via an email from Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies. Regardless, I’m glad our paths have crossed. Rachel is currently Mrs. Tulsa International. Her issue platform? Postpartum Mood Disorders. She is passionately dedicated to getting the word out to families about this stigmatized illness. I’m thrilled to have her here today and hope you enjoy getting to know here as I have. Thank you Rachel for all you do.

Tell us about Rachel. What do you like to do when you’re not choreographing or mothering?

I love to hang out with my family, just relaxing in the living room or snuggling in bed watching a movie together. Often we are always on the go and it is nice to have some down time as a family. I also enjoy baking and traveling.

mrs-tulsa

As Mrs. Tulsa, you’ve made your platform Postpartum Depression Awareness.
Share with us your personal experience with PPD. When did you realize things weren’t quite right?

In June of 2006, I gave birth to my baby girl. She was perfect and beautiful! Right away I felt a disconne

ction from her. What should have been the happiest time of my life would turn out to be the most difficult.

My mom stayed with us for about 2 1/2 months. She and my husband began noticing I was not myself. I felt sad, tired and unmotivated. I did not feel like interacting with my daughter or anyone else. We all agreed it must be the baby blues and kind of ignored it.

After almost two months of living with depression, we all agreed it was something more. My family accompanied me to see the doctor, where I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression.

The most difficult time was the evenings. My mom had ended her stay with us and my husband works nights as a police officer. After I put my daughter to bed I felt so alone. I would cry uncontrollably and have suicidal thoughts. I never had visions of hurting my daughter- I only wanted to hurt myself. This is when I realized my illness was getting more serious.

You mention it took some time to find the right course of treatment. What advice would you offer as a Mom to other moms who are having some difficulty in finding successful treatments?

Don’t give up! Everyone is different and it takes time to find what is right for you. Think outside the box… Treatment can include medication and therapy, but also can consist of rest, joining a support group, joining a MOMS Club, exercising, etc… Enroll in a mommy and me class or go to story time at your local library. For some, a combination of these suggestions is what will work the best.


How did your husband handle your PMD? Was your family supportive?

My husband along with my parents were very supportive. They were the ones who recognized my symptoms and went with me to get help. My husband would also take my daughter to the store or the park to give me a little time to myself. He helped me realize how precious our baby girl is and that feeling the way I was feeling was not my fault.


In building your platform, have you been surprised at the public response? Tell us about one of the more meaningful interactions you’ve had as a result of advocating for PMD awareness.

In general, the public response has been great. What really caught me by surprise is how appreciative local, state and national PPD and Mental Health organizations have been. I have tried to make contact with as many as possible and all of them have been so excited with my willingness to help.

My community has also been very supportive. I was asked to be at a family expo last month and the director graciously allowed me to hand out PPD information. While I was at this event, a grandmother came up to me to get some of the information I was distributing and told me she felt her daughter was suffering from PPD. It was wonderful to have the opportunity to discuss ways to approach the situation and some ideas for treatment. This like that makes me feel like I am doing the right thing and I love the opportunity I have to help others.

Name three things that made you laugh today.

My daughter! A few minutes ago she came in and said her toes looked like mommy’s. She had taken a marker (washable thank goodness!) and “painted” her toenails.

My husband makes me laugh everyday by telling me jokes or trying to fool me.

The third laugh of the day was while I was watching “Friends” reruns. It is my all-time favorite show and I can always count on that group of actors for a great laugh!


Many mothers who struggle with a PMD learn the hard way taking time for ourselves is one of the most important things we can do. What do you do to Mother yourself?

When I first had my daughter, this was one of the hardest things for me to understand. I felt selfish when I took the time I needed for myself. But, after forcing myself to do this, I realized it made me a better mother. I found MOM’s Club which was a wonderful way to meet other moms in my area and talk about what I was going through.

I also enrolled Maddy in a Mom’s Day Out program at our church for one day a week. This allowed me five hours to do whatever I wanted or needed to do, and it gave my daughter the opportunity to socialize with other kids. This year she entered preschool at our church and goes two days a week. She loves it and again it gives me a “mothering” break. Also, don’t forget your husband! Schedule a date night once in a while and whatever happens… try not to cancel it. Your relationship need alone time too.

What do you find the most challenging about parenting? The least?

The most challenging thing for my husband and I is ensuring certain values in our daughter. There is so much outside negative influence that can get in the way of our parenting, but we just have to trust that we are giving our daughter the lessons she needs to stay true to herself and her values.

The least challenging aspect of parenting is being “fun” parents. Going out, doing activities, getting dirty playing outside… These fun times create lasting memories for both the child as well as the parents.

What’s the personal significance of your website quote: “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.”

This quote continues to remind me that even in the darkest times during our life, there will always be a light. I use this quote to describe my experience with Postpartum Depression. Caterpillars stay in a dark and lonely cocoon, but eventually they become beautiful butterflies who are set free.

Last but not least, if you had a one chance to give an expectant mother (new or experienced) one piece of advice about PMD’s, what would you tell her?

Don’t give up or give in. Having PPD is a difficult illness to deal with, especially while raising a new baby, but it is not the end of the world. Get help when and if you need it. Know that you are not alone and are not to blame. With help, you will be well!

We Cannot Afford to be Silent Any Longer!

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Shhhh…. Don’t tell anyone this but Postpartum Depression is fake!

It’s all a ruse by Big Pharma to get you to spend thousands, er, no, millions, on their products.

And that pesky MOTHER’S Act is at the very heart of the ruse.

The above is what the opposition of the MOTHER’S Act would have you believe about Postpartum Mood Disorders and The MOTHER’S Act.

If this were true, I highly doubt Hippocrates would have first written about Postpartum Depression thousands of years ago. (You know, WAY before Big Pharma even existed)

If this were true, then Big Pharma would have ensured my first OB wrote a prescription instead of turning me away and laughing me out of his office when I presented four years ago with rather significant symptoms at three months postpartum. Did I mention I was not “fed” any psychotropic medication or “propoganda”? I knew that thoughts of hurting my child and myself were NOT part of the normal postpartum experience and sought help to keep both of us safe!

Keep in mind that the MOTHER’S Act has been fighting to be passed for eight years now – more than enough time for Big Pharma to have properly funded a ton of education for lots of doctors and civilians. But wait – why do we have accounts of PPD experiences that go much much further back than eight years? What about Milk Fever? What about the UK’s law from 1922 relating to Postpartum Psychosis and infanticide? Wow. Big Pharma really has been at it for much longer then, huh?

And I suppose Charlote Perkins Gilman, author of The Yellow Wallpaper was paid off by Big Pharma to write her story protesting the very treatment of women struggling with Mood Disorders back in the 1800’s too.

If this were true, then Big Pharma “infected” me (twice) with Postpartum Depression just to get me to spend a ton of money on psychiatric medication.

If this were true, I would have been screened and treated with much more scrutiny during my second and third pregnancies because you know, the risk goes up after one episode. (But alas, I was not) Woohoo! More money for Big Pharma, right?

Oh yeah, that seems completely believable, doesn’t it?

Go, read the bill, and decide for yourself.

The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHER’S Act (S 324) does NOT endorse medicating pregnant or postpartum women. It does not even endorse screening of new mothers. The MSB MOTHER’S Act instead provides for a study of screening efficacy, increased education and awareness on both sides – patients and physicians.

Knowledge is power, it is prevention. With each subsequent pregnancy I became more and more educated about my options. I made decisions in consultation with my physicians. As a Coordinator with Postpartum Support International, I encourage women who contact me to explore all their options. I do not encourage medicating specifically but will support whatever decision a mother makes. To medicate or not is a decision to be made between a woman and her doctor. The MSB MOTHER’S Act respects this. PSI respects this. I respect this.

We need to support mothers on their journeys. Twenty percent of new mothers (new or experienced) will experience a mood disorder. And up to 50% of their partners will experience depression as well. The last thing we need to do is to close the door on them. I have had this happen to me with no alternative treatment or options available. It is a very scary place to be indeed and is why I do what I do. I refuse to allow any mothers suffer in silence and fear as I did, holding on for dear life to the precious hope that one day she’ll wake up and be normal again.

Please do not let this happen to any other mothers. Don’t let them suffer in silence. Raise your voice. Let it be heard. Let mothers across the country know they are not alone, they are not to blame, and they will be well, no matter what road they choose towards help. Give them options instead of taking them away. Help us educate physicians. Help us educate American communities and remove the stigma and fear that all too often befalls a new mother struggling with intrusive thoughts, sleepless nights, and sobbing days. Let her know you are there for her. It is time to reach out with open arms and bring back the village that once raised Mothers and Children. The Desperate Village is running out of time and hope. Don’t let your voice be the one that causes their downfall. Speak up now.

(You can Speak up now by visiting Susan Dowd Stone’s website to email her with your name, state, any credentials and affiliated organizations. Your name will then be added to a list of supporters for The MSB MOTHER’S Act which will be delivered to all Senators on Mother’s Day. Won’t you do this one little thing for the Mother in your life?)