Category Archives: postpartum depression

Grabbing a second

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I had hoped to write a rather funny and eloquent first post about life with Cameron but alas, I am lacking in both the funny and eloquent departments at the moment. I’m lucky I even have a second to post!

Things have been hectic but going well.

Cameron and I had some nursing issues at first but I think we’re getting past them. He has a tight frenulum but the ped doesn’t want to clip because it’s not interfering with swallowing or weight gain. (Um doc, how about my nipples? It’s KILLING THEM!) I had purchased some reusable nursing pads but have since tossed them because they were sticking to my nipples and undoing any healing progress every time I nursed! (OUCH!) So until I get ahold of some nice comfy SOFT flannel nursing pads, I’m using Lansinoh disposables.

Alli and Charlotte are adjusting well. Yesterday was the worst day yet with both of them acting out but we muddled through. Charlotte’s got her back molars coming in right now so that’s lots of fun. Christmas however is a great time to add a little one to the family because the other children are blissfully distracted by all the new toys!

Now onto the important part – my emotions.

So far, so good. I am still on my med and doing well. I know it’s still early but already I am feeling so much different than I did after the birth of our two girls. The first day home alone, Cameron started crying during a diaper change and I actually laughed at him and told him it would be ok, mommy would be done in a second. Now, had that been two years ago, I would have started to freak out, anxiety would have kicked in and I would have rushed to finish and get him nursing. But instead I took my time, laughed, and everything was ok. I AM HAPPY! I could sit here with him in my arms and just get lost. We have had several moments like that actually – sheer blissful mommy and baby moments. And I have been grateful for all of them – I am not taking any of this for granted – no, I am drinking it in and loving every second of it. Of course part of me is wondering if this is too good to be true and if this happiness will last – but only a small part. I sincerely hope that small little part is wrong.

Introducing our Unexpected Blessing

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He’s here! Our unexpected blessing arrived on December 18th at 419am after a short labor, tipping the scales at 8lbs 7ozs, measuring 20in long.

We checked into the hospital at 630p, Pitocin was administered at 8pm, water was broken at 11pm, epidural at about 1am or so, short nap (thank GOD), awoken by epidural fading, feeling like I needed to push, and 45 minutes later Cameron was born. He had to be suctioned and received some blow by oxygen due to his short trip down the birth canal but his palate is intact and he is a champion nursing baby boy!!! He looks just like the girls except that he has brownish green eyes. Chris and I have to keep reminding ourselves he’s a boy! LOL.

I am doing well. Already feeling great, moving around, still sore a bit physically. Mentally I am doing well. I thoroughly enjoyed cuddling with Cameron today and really bonded with him. I spent most of the day with him in bed with me just staring at his gorgeous little face. He nursed quite a bit today and as I said earlier, definitely knows what’s going on in that department.

Chris and I feel that Cameron has been blessed to us as a reward for all our hard work with Charlotte. We truly survived the fire with her and feel so blessed to have her as part of our lives. … and now to have Cameron as well. We already felt  blessed to have Alli as well but now we definitely feel that God has smiled upon us and for this we are grateful.

Brand New Day part II

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So far, so good.

Charlotte and Alli both went to bed very easily last night and didn’t wake up a lot – if they did, they didn’t wake us up. And they woke up in a great mood this morning. We ate breakfast around 8a, then they played in the living room until about noon. Lunch went well, Charlotte went down to nap quite nicely (didn’t even cry) and now Alli & I are watching Home on the Range. (Ok, so she’s watching it and I’m blogging) In a short bit we’ll be cooking some break n bake Snickerdoodles that Chris picked up for me. (They’re my favourite holiday cookie and I’m well – not up for baking right now!)

Apparently whatever was going on with me yesterday as far as pain and potential contractions was productive somewhat – I lost my mucous plug last night around 1030. Had some additional pain between 930p – 1030p but again, nothing regular. I went ahead and packed my bag last night, put the rest of the clothes I need in the wash, (am drying them now), and am also washing the cloth pads my mom was awesome enough to make me. I’m allergic to all store bought pads and decided to go cloth this time around hoping it would speed up the healing process being that I wouldn’t have to deal with an allergic rash on top of everything else!

I’m hoping that labor holds off until at least nine pm or later tonight as I have my last PACE meeting of the year and would really like to make it to that meeting. It’s kind of bringing up some mixed emotions – I’m in awe that I’ve been doing this for a year already and yet at the same time I certainly didn’t expect to be in the position I am – about to give birth again. None of the emotions are negative though, which is rather nice.

As for my OB visit yesterday, I was asked if I was still taking my med and I said yes – which made them happy. I also signed consent forms for tubal ligation in the off chance I end up in a c-section situation. I am so done emotionally and physically having kids that I figured I might as well go ahead and consent if the opportunity arises.

Gonna run, someone here wants to cuddle! :-)

Grumpy Day

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We moved Charlotte into Alli’s room last night. They were both ok until the light got turned out and then they both started screaming. They calmed down rather quickly and went to sleep. Chris says they were up several times, Alli had to go potty. I got up at 430a to go to the bathroom and heard them both giggling.

Today has been a horrible day. I had an OB appt this morning (that went well) however, coming home was a whole ‘nother story. Chris had bathed both the girls because apparently Alli had helped her take off her jammies and her diaper – getting pee everywhere. FUN. Alli had also opened her armoire and threw all of the clothes I just washed all over the floor. Fun. Now I have to wash them again.

For added fun, when I went to put Charlotte down, her crib was broken – missing a cap nut or something so Chris came home at lunch to fix it because I couldn’t find the missing piece. (I have my suspicions as to where it will turn up though)

Alli is spending time with me during quiet time now because if I put the two of them in that room together during quiet time, it will be a disaster – I know this. (she’s driving me friggin insane!)

To top things off, I think i am having a bit of false labor today – had what felt like contractions earlier this morning at the doc’s office and then again when Chris was on his way home. Not sure if it’s the real thing getting ready to rock n roll or just the stress of last night and today. The ones that happened when Chris was on his way home happened while I was sitting down and I had been doing so most of the morning.

Right now I just want to go somewhere and scream. If I have to hear one more friggin excuse about why we can’t watch THIS movie, I’m just going to scream right now.

FRAZZLED is my word for today. Yeah, I think Frazzled sums it up.

Labor can’t happen tonight. Course if it does, at least I’d get some time away from the girls. LOL. Pretty desperate, huh?