Category Archives: postpartum depression

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas: Eleven Instant Cures

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On the eleventh day of Dismismas,

Postpartum sent to me

Eleven instant cures,

Ten women drifting,

Nine ladies grinning,

Eight maids no longer nursing,

Seven sins a-lurking,

Six women a-denying,

Five hours of sleep,

Four Just Snap out of Its,

Three perfect babies,

Two depressed parents,

And a wailing mess in a pear tree.

Over the course of the past year, several websites have cropped up much to the dismay of those of us who advocate for and with women struggling from Postpartum Mood Disorders. These websites claim the ability to cure Postpartum Depression for a low price. 50% off if you sign up as a friend.

Ahem.

Postpartum Mood Disorders are not something you are able to instantly cure.

It takes time.

For some, it may take Therapy, medication (natural or pharmaceutical), exercise, or other various approaches.

Rest assured though, reading an E-book will not make your depression dissipate overnight.

As always, be wary of any medication or supplement promising to easy your Postpartum Depression instantly as well. Always ALWAYS ALWAYS discuss any new approach with a doctor. Especially if you are already taking a medication or on a prescribed routine for therapy.

You can read more in depth of my feelings in regards to Instant Cures here.

Need tips on how to distinguish good information from bad information on the web? I’ve got that for you too.

Bottom line here?

If it sounds too good to be true? It probably is. Walk away. Quickly.

On the tenth day of Dismissmas: Ten Women All Buttoned Up

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On the tenth day of Dismissmas,

Postpartum sent to me

Ten women all buttoned up,

Nine ladies grinning,

Eight maids no longer nursing,

Seven sins a-lurking,

Six women a-denying,

Five hours of sleep,

Four Just Snap out of Its,

Three perfect babies,

Two depressed parents,

And a wailing mess in a pear tree.

 

Imagine you have just received a package from the UPS guy. You eagerly open the box only to find another wrapped box inside. You tear into the wrapping paper, discarding it as you excitedly strain to see what’s inside.

Let’s say it’s a really awesome doll which comes pre-programmed to say anything you want it to say in your own voice. You’ve ordered it for your child. As you push the button to record, everything seems to be in order. But when you press the replay button, silence. So you press it again. Nothing. What the ….

You press it again. Hold it longer. You can feel your frustration rising.

Why won’t the damned thing talk?

Talk, dammit! That’s what you’re supposed to do! Talk! Just like me!

You begin to look for the instructions. Maybe the doll has to be standing on just her left foot with her right arm touching her nose in order to talk. Yeah, maybe .. Umm.. no.

Still silence.

You change the batteries.

Nothing.

You find the number for the company to call for help.

Should you call? What will they say? Send it back? But Christmas is the day after the day after tomorrow (holy crap it really is!) and your kid will be irked if he/she doesn’t have the ONE thing under the tree they really wanted. So you’re stuck.

With a doll you can’t tell you what’s going wrong. She’s gone silent on you and you? You are ready to slam your head into a brick wall.

Ladies? Gentlemen?

THAT? Is how your significant other feels when you answer “How are you doing?” with the word “fine” when things are so very obviously NOT FINE.

Silence serves no one.

Silence hurts you. It hurts them. It heals nothing.

Break the silence. Recover. There is no shame in recovery.

Then & Now: Why I blog turns three

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Three years ago and thirty nine or so weeks ago, I was driving home from my therapy appointment for the Postpartum Mood Disorder I struggled with after the birth of our second daughter. It was THE DAY. The trees were greener. The rain drops sparkled. The sun breaking through the grey clouds summed up my mood perfectly. My heart soared. My oldest daughter would soon be three years old. Our youngest had just turned one. I was heading out to a relative’s house for the weekend with my mom, my first weekend away from the kids in a very long… well, ever. The Sunday after that weekend, I would discover I was pregnant with our son. And would totally freak out.

I did not want to go back to that dark place. So I read. Intensely advocated and prepared. Began to blog as an outlet for myself and to help other women.

Little did I have any clue that my first post would lead me here.

To three years and thirty nine or so weeks later. Never did I have a clue that I would interview Karen Kleiman, the author of What Am I Thinking: Having a baby after Postpartum Depression, here on my blog. Her book was what inspired me to begin to blog in the first place as it urged moms facing subsequent pregnancies to reframe them. So I did.

I haven’t stopped yet a nor do I plan on stopping any time soon.

I am ever so grateful for my positive Postpartum experience after the birth of my son. After struggling so hard with the first two, I finally got to immerse myself in the bliss of motherhood. I smeared Vaseline on the lens of my life and it totally rocked. Having been through hell it was certainly even more cherished and certainly not taken for granted.

I remember losing myself in the sweet scent of new baby. I remember holding him close and feeling our hearts beat in sync with each other. I remember him nuzzling my neck as he cuddled closely after nursing. I also remember curling my toes in pain because nursing was rough with him. I remember Thrush. I remember cracked nipples. But mostly I remember all the good stuff.

And these days, he is the light of our lives. Our little boy is a joker, a prankster, a caring and concerned three year old who loves to kiss, hug, and watch Cars. He doesn’t snuggle nearly as much but that’s okay. He will sit down on the couch with his toy laptop and blog right along with Mommy & (now) Daddy.

I am ever so thankful for his presence in our lives. Ever so thankful for his laughter, his camaraderie, his energy, and his caring spirit. Even when things get challenging with him, it is hard for me to keep a straight face. Damn his adorable infectious cuteness.

Who knew that when God decided to bless us with our son, it would also birth in me such a strong advocate for women with Postpartum Mood Disorders?

Thank you, little buddy, for motivating Mommy to put herself out there for so many women. You have no idea how many lives you have helped touch. None.

On the Sixth day of Dismissmas: Six women a-denying

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On the sixth day of Dismissmas,

Postpartum sent to me

Six women a-denying,

Five hours of sleep,

Four Just Snap out of Its,

Three perfect babies,

Two depressed parents,

And a wailing mess in a pear tree.

 

Not many Childbirth Educators talk about Postpartum Depression during Childbirth classes. (A big thank you to those of you who DO and do take the time to go in depth with it) It’s often glossed over as something that will happen to someone else.

When it does happen, many mothers start out denying their symptoms. Sure, motherhood is hard. The lack of sleep, the crying babies, and the impossible learning curve can all take their toll. So how do you move past denial and into reaching out for help? And how do you tell Postpartum Mood Disorder Symptoms from typical new motherhood issues?

It’s not easy.

Here’s a quick run-down of things to look for that may signal something more serious is going on beyond normal new motherhood struggles:

NUTRITION:

  • Is mom eating?
  • How is she eating? A Lot, a little, just right?
  • Is mom eating healthy foods? (excessive sugar & caffeine can contribute to mood difficulties)
  • Has she rapidly gained/lost weight without explanation? (make sure Mom gets a thyroid screen)

 

SLEEP:

  • Does Mom sleep when baby does?
  • When Mom goes to sleep does she fall asleep right away or is struggling to get to sleep or unable to stay asleep?
  • Does she awake refreshed or is she still fatigued?

 

MOOD:

  • Is Mom acting like herself?
  • Do things seem out of order?
  • Is mom showering or taking care of personal hygiene?
  • Is it hard for Mom to make a decision?
  • Has Mom been crying for no apparent reason?
  • Does Mom seem anxious?
  • Is Mom bonding with baby?

 

Denial will get you nowhere fast. It’s a dangerous and swift flowing river leading bad places.

Reach out for help. Start out with a physician with whom you are comfortable talking about your mental well-being. If he or she dismisses your concerns, talk to another doctor until someone listens to you. I know it is hard. I know when you are in that deep dark place the last thing you want to do is reach out, reach out again and again. I know you are not in the mood to explain your story to yet another receptionist or doctor. But every time you do, you are one tiny step closer to healing. One step closer to recovery. One step closer.

You can do it. You are not alone in this at all. There are so many mothers who have been where you are and they are standing with their hands outstretched toward you. Waiting to grasp your hand and pull you up. Don’t forget to reach for them too when you are reaching for help from professionals. You won’t regret it, I promise.

Survivors of Postpartum Mood Disorders are some of the strongest damned women I know – trust me, you WANT them holding you up!

On the fifth day of Dismissmas: Five hours of sleep

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On the fifth day of Dismissmas,

Postpartum sent to me

Five hours of sleep,

Four Just Snap out of Its,

Three perfect babies,

Two depressed parents,

And a wailing mess in a pear tree.

If she just gets some sleep, she’ll be fine. This will all go away. I’ll have my wife/sister/friend back. She’s just tired. Five hours should do it.

Yes, sleep helps alleviate some of the symptoms of a Postpartum Mood Disorder. But it’s only part of the recovery picture. The primary supports around mom should be focused on helping her rest, receive help from medical professionals, and regaining her sense of self with the added identity of mother.

If a new mother is struggling with a Postpartum Mood Disorder, she may need additional help beyond housework and infant or childcare assistance. She may need a team of medical professionals. If Mom is particularly fatigued, be sure to encourage her to get her Thyroid, Iron, and Vitamin D levels. Any discrepancies in these levels may cause some rest issues. Insomnia, exhaustion and extended sleeping, or sleeping yet not feeling rested are all symptoms which should not be ignored.

Rest when you can but if your sleep is not up to par with your normal pattern, (you know, beyond the whole infant every two or three hours thing), talk with a physician about how things are going. Lack of sleep can really throw anyone for an emotional loop!