Category Archives: Perinatal Mood Disorders

Patrick Dempsey VIR June 14 2012

Dempsey races into the #PPDChat world

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McDreamy. That’s how most women in America refer to the fabulous Patrick Dempsey. Then we sigh and our minds wander. There’s just something about him, isn’t there?

In addition to the portrayal of Dr. Derek Shepherd on Grey’s Anatomy, Patrick Dempsey also races cars. He’s been racing through Dempsey Racing, which formed in 2002. Racing is so important to Dempsey that recent contract negotiations for his continued appearance on Grey’s hinge on his ability to have time off to race – “The biggest point for me in negotiations is getting time off to come race, so if I don’t miss races, I’ll probably stay on ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’”  (quote source: Huffington Post)

Not too far away from where I’m currently living is Virginia International Raceway, or VIR as it’s known to locals and racing enthusiasts. Back in June, American LeMans held a test day at VIR for several teams. I had no idea when my dad first mentioned going that Dempsey would be there. All I cared about was seeing the amazing cars.

I’ve been watching non-Nascar racing for quite some time now. We primarily watch F1 but given that there are no F1 tracks nearby, we settle for Grand-Am and now American LeMans if local events are attended.

I woke up early on June 14th to make the trek to VIR with my dad. After we paid for our entrance, we made our way to the Oak Tree corner to get started. The first race car came screaming around the curve, leaving me breathless. Then we went down to the top of the RollerCoaster, which was where I first saw Dempsey’s car pop over the hill. Only I didn’t know it was Dempsey’s car. It was quite simply, the most beautiful vehicle I’d ever seen on a racetrack.

It wasn’t until later in the day while meandering around the Pits that I realized Dempsey Racing was there. Then we overheard some VIR employees discussing his performance the day before. I whispered to my dad that if Patrick was indeed there, I simply had to meet him and he had to get a picture.

Dempsey’s car in the garage

As we continued to wander down through Pit Row, the sky darkened and we decided to go grab some lunch. Rain dropped down on us right as we reached the concession area but cleared up before we were through with our BBQ sandwiches and beer. We headed back over to Pit Row as all drivers are required to take at least an hour break during test days.

Thankfully, (or luckily) we managed to see Patrick as he stepped out of his trailer. He is a genuinely nice guy. The picture above was taken very quickly as he was heading somewhere on a scooter shortly after. He took the time to chat with my dad for a few minutes though and I was left in awe that I’d just met McDreamy.

This is where the story gets interesting.

I tweeted about meeting him (in a very 14 year old giggly girl manner):

So….I just met Patrick Dempsey. SQUEEEE.

— Lauren Hale (@unxpctdblessing) June 14, 2012

 

My phone barely had any power left but I received this response:

@unxpctdblessing Saw ur tweet re: Patrick (awesome, isn’t he?!) BUT my BFF suffers from PPD & PP psychosis. Reading website, linking her!!

— Erin (@lainey_vb131) June 14, 2012

 

So you see – Dempsey has this knack for saving lives and playing the hero without even trying.

@lainey_vb131 participated in #ppdchat the following week and still follows the chat, finding support with us even though she herself doesn’t suffer from Postpartum Depression.

When you do something you truly love, everything in your life is touched by it and nothing you do escapes without somehow translating into your primary function in life. Things like this prove again to me that I’m meant to help others with their journey through Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders. I’ve been struggling a bit with that but it’s what’s in my heart and what will always be in my heart. Just like racing is what’s in Patrick’s. Well, that, and heroically saving lives. Even when he doesn’t realize he’s doing so.

Thank you Patrick, for taking just a few seconds to say hi to me and agreeing to a quick picture. Because of your graciousness, another mom found my blog and the community surrounding it –so did her best friend– and now they are no longer alone. You rock.

pantone

Dear Pantone 19-4305 Pirate Black: You are not Alone

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A few minutes ago, a member of #PPDChat shared this picture with me. You can find the original here.

I stared at it for a minute. Then I desperately wanted to reach out to the person who created this. To tell her that there’s no reason to continue to hide in the dark, in the black fog of Postpartum Depression.

I want to whisper to her that I am here, that she is not alone. To whisper that the claws of Postpartum Depression, yes, dipped in intense fear, are removable. There are those of us out here who understand what those claws feel like as they rip into our shoulders, our flesh, our hearts. As they shred our dreams and force us to create new ones from the ashes left behind.

Help is so close, and it will swirl around you just as the dark fog is swirling around you now. Except unlike the dark fog, the help lifts you up. It doesn’t drag you down or paralyze you in fear.

The help awaiting you buoys you up, above the fog, beyond the darkness. It’s out there, waiting for you to find it. Please, I urge you, take the first step and reach out. Further than this, email someone, talk to a professional, call Postpartum Support International. Find me on Twitter. Or email me.

You are not alone in the fear which has been your captor since July of 2011.  Make this year the year you find freedom.

Time - Are You Mom Enough

TIME Magazine fails to support mothers

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When Jamie Grumet was tapped for an interview and photo-shoot for the most recent issue of TIME magazine, her goal was not to raise our hackles. Her goal, according to a Q&A at Time was: “There seems to be a war going on between conventional parenting and attachment parenting, and that’s what I want to avoid. I want everyone to be encouraging. We’re not on opposing teams. We all need to be encouraging to each other, and I don’t think we’re doing a very good job at that.” Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2012/05/10/q-a-with-jamie-lynne-grumet/#ixzz1uUnnAmrE

I have to say —I kind of agree with Jamie— but I disagree with about where the judgment is originating. For instance, this weekend is Mother’s Day weekend. Instead of celebrating motherhood for the amazing and difficult job it is –regardless of your approach– TIME magazine instead chooses to share an incredibly divisive article with an even more divisive headline, “Are you MOM Enough.” The real title, as accessed at their website is: “The Man Who Remade Motherhood.”

As for the photographer, Martin Schoeller, who took the photo, in an article focusing on “Behind the Cover,” he stated: “I liked the idea of having the kids standing up to underline the point that this was an uncommon situation.” He also further stated, “It was important to show that there’s no stereotypical look for a mom who practices this kind of parenting.” Oh Martin. There’s no stereotypical Mom either – aside from, you know, a woman who has a child. Beyond that though, everything is up for grabs.

It’s time to stop judging each other for our choices. To stop allowing the media to get us all riled up. To stop thinking “Am I Mom Enough?” You are. No “as long as…” attached. There are, of course, mothers who don’t even try, mothers who have truly given up and are absent. But we’re not discussing mothers who are absent. We’re talking about mothers who give enough of a damn to raise their hackles in response to an article like this.

I don’t want to play the game anymore. But, as a mom who blogs and actively supports mothers who struggle with Postpartum Mood & Anxiety disorders, I feel I would be remiss in not addressing this topic.

Mothers, all of us, are different. We are unique in our approach to how we mother our children. These philosophies are rooted in how we are raised, how we relate to our partner, how our children relate to us, and the needs of our children. We adjust our lives in order to provide the best for our children with the resources we have and the beliefs which live deep within our hearts. If your children are secure, happy, and loved, there really isn’t any issue as to what your parenting philosophy is or if it’s any better than the mom next door.

All that matters is that what you’re doing WORKS FOR YOU.

This weekend, don’t wonder if you’re Mom enough.

KNOW you are. And know I love you for it.

Seeking pictures of REAL pregnant mamas

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Hey y’all.

Tonight’s #PPDChat was about depression during pregnancy.

Prior to the first chat at 1pm ET, I decided to search for “Pregnant Woman” via Google images. Wanna know what I found? I bet you already know. 

Smiling pregnant women. All of them happy and glowing. 30 pages in, I gave up.

I asked both chats to send pictures of themselves, pregnant, not glowing, REAL.

Will you share too? I want to show moms that not all pregnant women smile. That it’s OKAY to look (and be) something other than happy during pregnancy. Can you help?

Awesome.

Email your photos to me at mypostpartumvoice (@) gmail (dot) com. Subject Line: Real Pregnancy Photos.

You totally Rock. Let’s show the world pregnancy isn’t all happy grins. Time to get real.

#HAWMC: haiku, haiku, haiku

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mothers, babies, snuggle
in quiet cover of night
lone tear slides down

whirlwind swirling round
fall down stand up breathe in out
exhausted collapse

bright blue sky overhead
clouds drift across as I stare
remembering peace

tiny leaf bud clings
tightly to branch, mother hug
yearning to escape