Category Archives: motherhood

Sharing the Journey with Arlene Pellicane

Arlene is a co-blogger with Sue McRoberts at Totally New Moms. Today I am posting her interview. She is passionate, strong, and truly carries a desire to help others take the best care of the body God gave them the best way possible.

Arlene Pellicane

1)  When did you become a Christian and what has helped to solidify or sustain your faith over the years?

I grew up going to Catholic church, but when I was in elementary school, my family started going to a Assembly of God church.  I accepted Christ as my personal Savior around 6th grade.  I remember feeling the love of God whenever I walked into the church as a child. 
 
2) What do you find to be most challenging about Motherhood? The least?

Rearranging schedules around naptimes.  Yes, I’m the parent who says, “I’m sorry.  That time won’t work because my baby will be napping.”  I’d like to be more flexible but it’s just no fun being out with a cranky baby!  And long plane rides – yikes!  The least challenging is reading stories and having fun with my kids.   

(My note – I do the SAME thing – if it’s nap time, it’s not happening! Naps are not sacrificed unless it’s an absolute emergency!)

3) How has becoming a Mother changed you?

Has it strengthened your faith in God?

Being a mom has been the greatest joy of my life.  We had trouble conceiving, so when we had our first child Ethan, he was our miracle.  Then we lost a baby girl at 26 weeks and that really taught me to trust in the Lord with all my heart.  On what would have been our baby’s due date, I found out I was pregnant again.  We rejoice in God’s blessing and healing touch in our lives.  My children have taught me so much.  Motherhood certainly puts your patience and strength to the test. 
 
4) In your opinion, what aspect of Motherhood should be most celebrated?

Celebrate the honor and privilege of training a child for life.  Before having children, people would say sarcastically, “Oh, your life will never be the same” – as in, enjoy your life now because you’re going to hate the next 18 years.  That is what Zig Ziglar might call, “stinking thinking!”  We didn’t want to hear those kind of remarks.  Yes, motherhood has changed my life forever – for the better! 
 
5) I viewed an online video piece in which you spoke about your daughter, Angel Rose and was impressed by the strength with which you told your story. Is there any advice from your experience you would share with other mothers who one day may face a similar situation?

When difficulties enter your life, walk through those dark days with an open hand and heart towards God.  Cry out to Him to strengthen and comfort you and He will.  On the contrary, if you clench your fist and say, “Why did you allow this to happen to me?” it hardens your heart and slows down the healing process.  There’s a song by Steven Curtis Chapman titled “Miracle of the Moment” that says, “And if it brings you tears, then taste them as they fall, let them soften your heart.”  When you allow the sorrows of life to soften your heart, you will someday look back upon that sorrow with a sweetness that can only come through Christ. 
 
6) What do you do to spoil yourself when you have time away from the kids?

Go to the outlet mall.  I love shopping for bargains and it’s hard to really look through those sales racks and try on clothes with a baby and toddler.  Or watch a chick flick like Sense and Sensibility.   
 
7) What is your number one not-so-healthy food to spend your calories on?

Ice cream!  At our local grocery store, you can buy 2 gallons for $6 – that spells trouble!  We do this on special occasions like birthdays, usually choosing Cookies and Cream and Chocolate Moose Tracks which is chocolate ice cream with chocolate chunks and fudge.  I am a sucker for chocolate!
 
8) When did your website, Losing Weight After Baby begin to take shape?

I’ve always wanted to write a book but wasn’t sure what the book would be about.  After having 3 pregnancies in 3 years in my 30s, my friends were asking how I got back into shape.  I began to journal about it and the idea for the book was born, Losing Weight After Baby: 31 Days to a New You.  The book is made up of 31 daily readings that any busy mom can read to get motivated and encouraged about shedding those pregnancy pounds.  The website was born out of the book which hopefully will published in the next year or so. 
 
The website http://www.losingweightafterbaby.com features more than 60 articles and a free weekly podcast, Losing Weight After Baby.  Soon, I’ll be adding will be free videos and mini eBooks in the online store. 
 
 
9) How did the idea for your joint blog, Totally New Moms with Sue McRoberts and Rebecca Ingram Powell come to fruition?

I saw Rebecca’s book, Baby Boot Camp, and I wanted to know more about her experience with getting it published.  I emailed her with a few questions.  She kindly responded and it was a God connection!  She and Sue have been so terrific to blog with. 
 
10)  If there was one piece of advice you could give to an expectant mother (new or experienced), what would it be and why would this be important for her to hear?

Champion your children and expect the very best from them.  Give your children a good name to live up to.  Let your children overhear you saying things like, “I am so proud of my son.  He is learning how to share,” instead of “My son is driving me crazy!”  They will rise to your level of expectation. 

On Speaking with Katherine Stone & D. Jeffrey Newport

Today I was a panelist along with Katherine Stone at a Community Lunch and Learn sponsored by Mental Health America and Skyland Trails of Atlanta.

Dr. Jeffrey Newport was the keynote speaker while Katherine and I both shared with attendees our story and how we had been moved to share with others about our experience. Katherine was wonderful and I thoroughly enjoyed meeting her. (Look for an upcoming interview soon!) Dr. Jeffrey Newport was also terrific and is a great speaker – wonderful sense of humour and very down to earth. His presentation was terrific and once I have a chance to read over and edit my scribbled notes into something coherent, I will certainly be sharing some of them with you!

We had several attendees thank us for sharing our stories afterwards, including a woman recently diagnosed with PPD. That alone made the journey worth it. To be able to reach out not only to women who are currently suffering but to also provide a personal insight to those in the field who are directly dealing with this disorder is an amazing and powerful opportunity. I sincerely look forward to not only continuing with my current work but to being able to have additional opportunities like the one today. God has truly blessed me and I am very thankful!

(Oh, and I also enjoyed having the day off from kiddie-care too! I was gone from about 9a-4p today. Oh the heaven! LOL)

Sharing the Journey with Sue McRoberts

I have had the good fortune recently to get to know Sue McRoberts, author of The Lifter of My Head: How God Sustained me during Postpartum Depression, and 1/3 of the blogging team at Totally New Moms. The following are 10 questions I emailed to her and the responses I received. Enjoy!

(As a side note, interviews with Arlene and Rebecca from Totally New Moms will be arriving shortly as well!)

Sue McRoberts

1) When did you become a Christian and what has helped to solidify or sustain your faith over the years?
 I became at Christian at the age of 8 but I didn’t really understand it until I was 14.  In college I started really living out my faith.  What has solidified my faith is God’s faithfulness.  He’s always done what he says in scripture he will do.  Seeing God’s consistency and compassion has sustained me.

2)      What made you decide to write your book, The Lifter of my Head: How God Sustained Me through Postpartum Depression?
I went to a local Christian bookstore, looking for a book on postpartum depression from a Christian’s perspective.  There was no such book on the shelf.  After doing some research no one at the store could  find such a book on the Internet either.  The clerk suggested to me that I should go home and pray about  whether or not perhaps God wanted me to write that book.  At first I thought that was the craziest thing I’d ever heard.  God gave me no peace until I started writing!  
 
 
3)      What kind of process did you go through to write your book? What part was the most difficult to write?
Writing from beginning to end what happened to me during my PPD experience was excruciating.  I wrote 95% of my book while I was sick.  I wrote the book as these things were actually happening.  Only editing was done while I was well.  I cut about 35,ooo words from my final manuscript. I had a lot I wanted to share!  The process itself was simple.  I had  a brainstorming notebook I constantly wrote in.  I wrote constantly when ideas would come.  Sometimes at 3 a.m I would do my best writing and thinking.  For me the toughest part was describing the darkest parts of my illness.  I wrote the whole thing in faith that God wanted me to do it.  But I never believed for one second that anyone would relate to my experiences with psychosis.  I was wrong!  Other than that, reading the book in it’s entirety for the audio CD’s was a nightmare.  It’s one thing to write it and edit it over 6-8 months.  To read it in 5 hours was tough emotionally.  Hearing those words come out of my own mouth about broke me. 
 

4)      Prior to Motherhood, what was the main focus of your life?

I was a teacher and a coach.  My students were my life.  I miss teaching and coaching so much that it’s difficult to express that emptiness in my life.  I’ve filled that with a great husband, three kids, and much ministry but boy do I miss it.
 

5)      What is the hardest part of Motherhood? The easiest?

 The hardest part of motherhood for me is having strong willed kids only to discover that maybe I’m strong willed too.  That can be volatile so I’ve learned to be a little more passive and easy going.   What else is hard for me is that  I can’t make them choose the right things in life.  I can only guide them and that is scary.  I’ve learned to guide them and pray for them but let God take the reigns. It freaks me out to much to try to control these little people.   They aren’t puppets.  I was shocked when I discovered that!

The easiest part for me is playing with my kids.  I love pitching baseball to them, kicking a soccer ball, riding bikes.  My five year old can’t stand when I want to work on reading or math with him.  He sees me as his soccer pal.  So playing is a very important thing in our house. 

6)      How has becoming a Mother changed you? Has it strengthened your faith in God?

 I have three strong willed kids, all of which have worn me out at times.  I’ve learned to focus on what really matters and know what those things are that I will battle on and which ones aren’t so important.  Strong willed kids will get in your face no matter what though.  They love a fight and a challenge.  So I have had to rely on God for strength, creativity in parenting, rest, and most of all some grace for my kids.  It has strengthened my faith in God tremendously.  When my first child got her first spanking at 18 months she looked at me and said, “Is that all you’ve got?”  I knew I was in trouble!  But God has stayed with me!

7)      In your opinion, what aspect of Motherhood should be most celebrated?

 The fact that we  are molding and shaping godly men and women one diaper at a time, one feeding at a time, one school grade at a time, one conversation at a time.  Every day we are impacting our children’s lives.  Mothering matters!   It’s only what you do for Christ that counts.  Leading your kids to Christ, teaching them to walk with and depend on him…these things count.

8)      When you get time to yourself, how do you pamper yourself?
 
I eat breakfast out with my friends, go to dinner and a movie with my husband, or go for a nice  long run.
 
9)      How did the idea for your joint blog, Totally New Moms with Arlene Pellicane and Rebecca Ingram Powell come to fruition?

 I knew when Rebecca agreed to write an endorsement for my book that we would one day work together.  I prayed about it for ages.  I don’t even know if Rebecca knows that.  We both have a heart for girls and women.  That drew me to  her.  Arlene was Rebecca’s special find!  I’m pretty sure the idea started with me and Rebecca talking about it.  Then Rebecca  found Arlene and it took off from there.  I think the three of us have such different styles and personalities, we complement each other well.

10)   If there was one piece of advice you could give to an expectant mother (new or experienced), what would it be and why would this be important for her to hear?

Look for resources around you, they are everywhere.  Printed material, experienced mothers in different seasons of life, your Bible, your doctor, your neighbors.  Listen and learn.  Be open to other’s opinions and take help when it’s offered.  And above all, don’t be so hard on yourself.  We aren’t perfect and that really shows up in our mothering.  But don’t beat yourself up for a decade because you did or said something wrong to your child.  (I’ve done that…)  Kids are resilient.  We aren’t most of the time.  Ask God’s forgiveness and move on.  There’s bigger things to come!   And just think, some day you’ll be entering middle age and you’ll not know where the time went.  Cherish the good, the bad, and the ugly of mothering because it all matters!

A Little Nervous

I have my first “big” speaking engagement on Friday and I can feel myself starting to get nervous. I know I’ll be fine. I’m really looking forward to meeting Katherine Stone and Dr. Jeffrey Newport. I am more in awe that I have been asked to speak along with them than anything else and it speaks volumes to me as to how far I have come since giving birth to my first daughter and struggling through those first dark days of Postpartum OCD all alone. I have found immense comfort in the knowledge that I will never be alone again and that has made all the difference this time around. (Ok, that, and the meds. I can’t forget about the meds.)

I’d like to take this opportunity to again thank everyone who believed in me and has supported me through this endeavor – especially my husband who lived through it all with me and is still here (although snoring at the moment) and as strong as ever. Amazement really doesn’t do this justice – the journey I’ve been on has been such a treacherous and yet fantastically awe-inspiring one at the same time. I can’t wait to share it on Friday and hopefully educate and light the way for other women to emerge from their PPD coccoon with as much strength and energy and support as I have.

Breathe…

Wow. The past few weeks have been insane.

First, the girls got colds.

Then Chris got the flu and I got a sore throat. (Of course by then the girls were better and lemme tell ya – sick parents + recovered kids makes for a very unbalanced household!)

We finally got our car back (YAY).

I’ve been lucky to have any time to myself during the day. The girls recently started napping again during the day – both of them in their room but I’ve been so busy with trying to keep up with (read: catch up) housework that I often times don’t get on the computer at all during the day and of course at night I am exhausted so of COURSE I am not thinking of the computer.

I’m hoping to get back into the swing of things pretty soon here.

PACE meetings haven’t been terribly successful yet either. Gotta figure out how to change that and work on my relationships with local physicians. My mom will be here in April so maybe I’ll get her to keep the kids one or two mornings while I go around town to OB’s and Ped’s offices to stick up fliers. I also have an event planned for next month here in town, a screening of two PPD documentaries that will hopefully raise awareness of PPD and of PACE in the process.

In March I will also be speaking in Atlanta at an event co-sponsored by MHA and Skyland Trail. Look for more information on this later this week. Next month is going to be very busy!

Wish I could stay longer but I am in severe need of caffeine and the girls have been absolutely horrid this afternoon. I am about to pull out the Nanny McPhee Medicine (aka blackstrap molasses).