Category Archives: happiness

Precious Moments

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You know those moments – the ones where one second your little one looks well, like a baby. And in the next nanosecond, they’re suddenly much older and wiser? I had one of those moments with Charlotte today and it (as it always does) caught me so off guard. Do they really HAVE to grow up? I mean, yeah, I want them to but then part of me wants them to stay sweet and innocent forever. But if they did that — I’d never get enough sleep. Ever again.

So yes.

They MUST grow up.

And hopefully they’ll grow up to be the best darn humans they can be! 😉

A Little Nervous

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I have my first “big” speaking engagement on Friday and I can feel myself starting to get nervous. I know I’ll be fine. I’m really looking forward to meeting Katherine Stone and Dr. Jeffrey Newport. I am more in awe that I have been asked to speak along with them than anything else and it speaks volumes to me as to how far I have come since giving birth to my first daughter and struggling through those first dark days of Postpartum OCD all alone. I have found immense comfort in the knowledge that I will never be alone again and that has made all the difference this time around. (Ok, that, and the meds. I can’t forget about the meds.)

I’d like to take this opportunity to again thank everyone who believed in me and has supported me through this endeavor – especially my husband who lived through it all with me and is still here (although snoring at the moment) and as strong as ever. Amazement really doesn’t do this justice – the journey I’ve been on has been such a treacherous and yet fantastically awe-inspiring one at the same time. I can’t wait to share it on Friday and hopefully educate and light the way for other women to emerge from their PPD coccoon with as much strength and energy and support as I have.

Mornin’

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Cameron officially has a nighttime routine!

 YAY!

I got up with him twice last night. He goes to bed around 10p, wakes up at 1, 4, and then 7. Wooohoooo!

I like the time he wakes up because I will get him up, change him, then take him into the living room to nurse. No one else is awake yet so it’s “my” time even though yes, I have a baby attached to me. Once I lay him back down, I take the dogs out before getting the girls up so more “me” time.

I am definitely adjusting to the new routine.

 As for the emotional aspect – my OB added Wellbutrin to my Lexapro and I am happy to say that it seems to be working so far. Of course, I just started it yesterday so we’ll have to see. I am supposed to be going today to get my Mirena placed. No more lil babies for us – and that does make me sad in a way but then again, I know that there’s just no way I could handle another pregnancy and we’re tight enough financially as it is right now. So I’m doing the responsible thing and getting the birth control on the right path.

Gotta run, he just finished nursing so now it’s time for my morning freeze. :-)

Grabbing a second

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I had hoped to write a rather funny and eloquent first post about life with Cameron but alas, I am lacking in both the funny and eloquent departments at the moment. I’m lucky I even have a second to post!

Things have been hectic but going well.

Cameron and I had some nursing issues at first but I think we’re getting past them. He has a tight frenulum but the ped doesn’t want to clip because it’s not interfering with swallowing or weight gain. (Um doc, how about my nipples? It’s KILLING THEM!) I had purchased some reusable nursing pads but have since tossed them because they were sticking to my nipples and undoing any healing progress every time I nursed! (OUCH!) So until I get ahold of some nice comfy SOFT flannel nursing pads, I’m using Lansinoh disposables.

Alli and Charlotte are adjusting well. Yesterday was the worst day yet with both of them acting out but we muddled through. Charlotte’s got her back molars coming in right now so that’s lots of fun. Christmas however is a great time to add a little one to the family because the other children are blissfully distracted by all the new toys!

Now onto the important part – my emotions.

So far, so good. I am still on my med and doing well. I know it’s still early but already I am feeling so much different than I did after the birth of our two girls. The first day home alone, Cameron started crying during a diaper change and I actually laughed at him and told him it would be ok, mommy would be done in a second. Now, had that been two years ago, I would have started to freak out, anxiety would have kicked in and I would have rushed to finish and get him nursing. But instead I took my time, laughed, and everything was ok. I AM HAPPY! I could sit here with him in my arms and just get lost. We have had several moments like that actually – sheer blissful mommy and baby moments. And I have been grateful for all of them – I am not taking any of this for granted – no, I am drinking it in and loving every second of it. Of course part of me is wondering if this is too good to be true and if this happiness will last – but only a small part. I sincerely hope that small little part is wrong.

Introducing our Unexpected Blessing

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He’s here! Our unexpected blessing arrived on December 18th at 419am after a short labor, tipping the scales at 8lbs 7ozs, measuring 20in long.

We checked into the hospital at 630p, Pitocin was administered at 8pm, water was broken at 11pm, epidural at about 1am or so, short nap (thank GOD), awoken by epidural fading, feeling like I needed to push, and 45 minutes later Cameron was born. He had to be suctioned and received some blow by oxygen due to his short trip down the birth canal but his palate is intact and he is a champion nursing baby boy!!! He looks just like the girls except that he has brownish green eyes. Chris and I have to keep reminding ourselves he’s a boy! LOL.

I am doing well. Already feeling great, moving around, still sore a bit physically. Mentally I am doing well. I thoroughly enjoyed cuddling with Cameron today and really bonded with him. I spent most of the day with him in bed with me just staring at his gorgeous little face. He nursed quite a bit today and as I said earlier, definitely knows what’s going on in that department.

Chris and I feel that Cameron has been blessed to us as a reward for all our hard work with Charlotte. We truly survived the fire with her and feel so blessed to have her as part of our lives. … and now to have Cameron as well. We already felt  blessed to have Alli as well but now we definitely feel that God has smiled upon us and for this we are grateful.