Growing up, my mother had a black and white cartoon taped to the fridge. The cartoon shows a woman answering her door talking to a man. It appears he’s a census taker or something along those lines. There is one balloon of speech in the cartoon. It says: “Work? I just wake up in the morning and there it is.”

If I get nothing else when my mother passes on (and I hope that will be a long time coming), I want that cartoon. The past three years of my life have more than proven that statement to me and the past few days have been particularly difficult.

One of our dogs is ill. We’re not sure what is wrong with him – we thought it was a 24 hour stomach bug but he’s still not able to control himself and it’s quite disgusting, especially now that good old Ms. Morning Sickness is getting bolder. (I think I need to find my Louisville slugger) So my husband has had the lovely chore of cleaning up after the dog. On Monday I put the dog in his crate for the bulk of the day once it became clear he wasn’t going to be able to control himself – there was no way I was going to be able to continue cleaning up after him. He was fine yesterday for the most part but today he’s off again and we’re contemplating calling the vet.

Speaking of work – be right back. Charlotte is crying. (8:09 p.m.)  

Ok, so right after Charlotte got settled, the computer crashed and I have NO idea when I started this post! It took me almost 10 minutes to get her resettled by the way.

Tuesday evening this week I held my first peer support group meeting of the month. About an hour and a half in, I was ready to pitch in the towel and go home because no one had shown up. Just then, our one regular drove up. I recognized her vehicle and was happy to see her because I really needed someone to talk to this week. Turned out she needed to talk too but that’s confidential and I can’t share it with you! (sorry!) I listened to her first, and finally decided to share my news. She was thrilled for me and asked if I was scared – not only because of the PPD but because of the potential for a repeat birth defect.

At first I said that I was doing ok, then I stated that it kind of scared me that I’m doing so well with it. She told me not to worry about being scared and to just take the OK part.

Not so sure that I am doing that. In the back of my mind, I’m freaking out a little bit more every day. But by the end of the day, I’m ok again. I feel like such a yo-yo. And I had totally forgotten just how much early pregnancy can mess with your physical well being. Ok, well, pregnancy messes with you in general, but early pregnancy is my least favourite. I am horrible at being exhausted and queasy. I just shut down. I discovered yesterday that as long as I keep my belly VERY full, I don’t get queasy. So I pretty much need to be grazing all day long. Which means I need to find healthy non-fat stuff to snack on because I am determined to not gain a lot of weight this pregnancy. It’d be nice if I could actually end up losing weight when all said is done. Granted I want to have a healthy pregnancy but at nearly 100lbs overweight in the first place, the last thing I need to be doing is adding another 25-35lbs! I handled the Gestational Diabetes diet with my first just fine and she was great so I am trying to slowly gear my diet in that direction.

 As far as counseling goes this pregnancy, the first thing I did the day after I got my positives was call my therapist and find out if we could move my appointment up. She saw me the next morning at 730a. I LOVE MY THERAPIST! My husband and I have a joint visit this Tuesday at 6pm. It’ll be interesting to see how that goes. He’s having some stress issues related to the financial aspect and his overall responsibility in that department. I’m hoping we can work through those together. Although he abhors being “shrinked.” Sometimes though – it’s necessary to deal with a tough life situation. And I would certainly call what we’re going through a tough life situation.

That’s all for now – just gotta face my biggest decision of the evening – do I REALLY want to give into my craving for fried chicken skin or not? (yeah, I know, and it IS my weirdest pregnancy craving to date!)

Warmest,

Lauren

So far, Praise God, no one has outright disowned us.

My entire family knows, apparently my father didn’t have much of a reaction, my mother wants me to lose weight (and I agree, I am overweight), and one of my younger brothers is relieved because we’re “doing all the work” and have taken the pressure off them for yet another year at the least! LOL.

I told Chris’ mother this morning. She was hesitantly excited – nervous because of what another pregnancy means for us emotionally and financially, and excited because she’s going to be Nana to another baby!

Tonight I’ll be telling my father in law. I am not really looking forward to it but my gut tells me he’ll take it better coming from me than from Chris. I’ll update later as to how he handles the news.

 We’ll also be telling Chris’ brother & sister in law. I will be asking my sister in law if she’d be willing to let me borrow her maternity clothes because I have um, well, I was done! Who needs maternity clothes lying about?!?? Not me! (Hindsight SUCKS) At least we hadn’t had our big yard sale and sold all the infant stuff yet, right? And to think – that was going to be in just a few weeks!

Gotta run now, time for Alli’s quiet time – and my sanity saver nap!

150pm: Quick Update: Chris went by his dad’s office on his lunch break and broke the news. According to Chris, Dad was shocked but seemingly excited. Mom knows that Dad knows so now all we have to do is tell brother & sister in law. Phew. So glad all of that is over and done with! Now we can get on with the pregnancy and what’s to come!