Category Archives: family

Take your child(ren) with you to Vote!

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Here’s a wonderful email I received from MomsRising.org about Election Day and the opportunity it presents to educate our children:

It’s Tuesday, November 4th. It’s time to vote, time to remind all friends and family to vote, time to tell us how your voting went (scroll down), and time to… take a child to vote…

TAKE A CHILD TO VOTE TODAY: Why? Well, in the words of my 9 year old, “It’s a very wonderful experience for the kids because they learn that everybody’s opinion counts.” And my 12 year old has a great argument for kids being there as a resource to parents: “If parents are wondering about who to vote for while they’re in the voting booth, then they can always ask their kids!  Our leaders impact kids’ lives into the future so kids should be involved.”

Seriously, studies show taking children to vote with you, or even having them help fill out the bubbles of your absentee ballot on the kitchen counter, helps them become regular voters when they grow up. So by bringing a child to vote, you are not only turning in your own vote in the present moment, you’re also building our future democracy.

Speaking of which, here’s a note from a MomsRising member with “big” kids as a reminder that no-one should be safe from motherly nudging today: “Hey, we got them to school and to all those soccer games, music lessons, debate  tournaments, and play rehearsals… and now, even though they’re young adults and not children any more, we can still help get them to one more important activity: VOTING.”

*THREE TERRIFIC WAYS TO HELP FRIENDS & FAMILY VOTE TODAY*

1. Remind everyone you know that it’s the real deal today, Election Day: Bug friends, bother family, forward this e-mail to your entire list of friends reminding people that today is Election Day! Or use our easy, handy-dandy link to remind lots of your friends at the same time to vote today at: http://www.momsrising.org/ElectionGreetings

2. Buddy Up & Back Up: If you can’t take a child to vote with you, then you can volunteer to watch a child or two while a friend votes! Why? We know it’s not always so easy to take what sometimes amounts to a traveling circus with you to vote. Give a friend a break and volunteer to watch a child or two while the parents take time to go vote. http://www.momsrising.org/Nov4Backup

3. Make some last-minute calls to remind moms who are infrequent voters to vote: There’s still time! You can make calls right up until 7pm on Election Day. Sign on to make 30 min, 1 hour, or more of calls here: http://www.momsrising.org/callfromhome

Remember to have fun on Election Day–make voting a snazzy field trip, a dramatic moment of power, a snapshot in time to recall in later years.

And, after you vote, don’t forget to tell all…  we want to know…

VOTING: WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU? After you vote, tell us about your voting experience, the issues that were top of your mind as you cast your ballot & ideas for moving forward after Election Day! Tell us all about your voting experience at: http://www.momsrising.org/ivoted

Happy Election Day!

– Kristin, Joan, Laura, Roz, Tracy, Katie, Mary, Donna, Ashley, Gretchen, Lisa, Nanette, Anita, Julene, Julia, and the MomsRising Team

p.s. If you’re not already a member of MomsRising, sign on now (it’s free) to stay in the loop and take action after the election by working to pass critically important policies for mothers, families, and children. After all, it’s our economic security we’re talking about.  Sign on here: http://www.momsrising.org/signup

p.p.s. If you don’t know where to vote (or what ID to bring) today, then you can find out on the League of Women Voter’s webpage at: http://www.vote411.org/pollfinder.php

And, if you run into irregularities, you can get voter protection information online at: HTTP://WWW.866OURVOTE.ORG and on the phone at:

– – 1-866-OUR-VOTE (administered by the Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law)

– – 1-888-VE-Y-VOTA (administered by the National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials Education Fund)

– – In addition, CNN has a voter hotline to call if you encounter any problems voting or know of a problem: 1-877-462-6608.

Cultural Traditions and PPD

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Knowing what we do about PPD risk factors including lack of social support and financial struggles, I have begun to wonder if Cultural Celebrations and support of new mothers has an impact on whether or not she experiences Postpartum Depression. As I researched for this morning’s Did You Know piece for the blog, I came across a fascinating article that brought an important point to the forefront of my mind. Many other cultures do celebrate the birth of a child and motherhood but what do we do for new moms here in America? Nothing. The child is born and then bam. Out the door into the cold world goes mom – struggling not only with the physiological effects of childbirth but also the psychological effects, including the sudden shift of attention from her (as the pregnant woman) to the newborn infant. She is pushed aside and left behind. Why is it we do this? How has this happened? The article I read suggested the American Job Market has effectively dismantled the family dynamic through the need for relocation related to employment and thereby denigrated the opportunity continued guidance and support from immediate family members – ie, the passing down of child-rearing knowledge and support from mother to daughter. I myself have been a victim of this very phenomenom as I moved nearly 400 miles away from my family to find work. I do call my mother quite a bit but it is no substitute for in-person care and guidance. There needs to be a shift in American Culture to truly celebrate the mother as well as the child after birth. An increase in coverage by insurance companies to pay for doula care after the birth of a child, making standard designing a plan of postpartum care within the constructs of the OB or pre-natal visits. We are so conditioned to prepare for the BABY we have forgotten to prepare for our care. We cannot afford to do this any longer.

A Peek into the Darkness

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Instead of posting an interview today, I want to share a piece of me with you. Yes, I know I’ve been doing that already but this is deeper and darker. You see, I found my journal from my first Postpartum experience. I shared a brief piece of this with a mom who contacted me the other day and it resonated so strongly with her and made me realize I need to share this openly. Keep in mind that I sought and was refused help at the three month mark – the first entry I share is from her 3 month birthday. So here goes.

July 26, 2004

Today is Allison’s 3 month birthday. I can’t believe we’ve made it 3 months. 1/4 of the way to a year. I’m still exclusively breastfeeding her. I’ve had to give her formula twice – once, the night she came home because she just wouldn’t take the breast, the second time she was being extremely fussy and wouldn’t eat. I couldn’t let my baby starve.

Wow. 3 months of life with a baby. And I am still feeling like I’ve been hit over the head with a frying pan. Sure there are glorious glimpses of normalcy and happiness but mostly I stare at the clutter, worry about our bills, get upset at the dogs for waiting until Alli has latched on to let me know they need to go O-U-T and they gotta go NOW. And Chris has had this kidney stone problem since she was about a month old. That’s been fun. He’ll be having surgery on Wednesday so now I’m worrying about that bill too.

In case you can’t tell, today was one of those days. I called my mom this morning. She answers the phone and asks if she can call me back. But the way she asks sounds like she’s crying. So I freak out and think something horrid has happened to my kid brother who’s in jail. Turns out it was just a laugh that I misinterpreted.

Then later today I’ve attempted to put Alli in her crib for a nap but she’s not napping – no – she’s screaming. And Chris flippantly comments (and I quote) “Geez, you’d think someone was killing her!” THANKS! I’m already having a hard enough time listening to her cry and now you go and put the very image I struggle every day to keep out at the very forefront of my mind. I rush through the rest of the dishes and go to comfort my crying daughter. She did eventually nap – in her swing for about 30 minutes. It gave me enough time to get caught up with Thank You notes. I had gotten just a little behind. Now we just need stamps. Gotta wait until we have a spare $7.40 though. Maybe next week.

Allison did get a couple of presents in the mail today. She got a cute little outfit from her great-aunt’s friend and two books from my deceased step-mother’s sister. There was a very touching note in the card stating that Grandpa Cam & Grandma Helen would have loved having a great grandaughter. I’m sure they know. This little girl has quite an army of angels looking out for her.

My hand is hurting from writing so much. I’d better go. Don’t know how much longer I’ll be awake for. I’m exhausted and my neck & shoulders are killing me. I’ll write again when I can. Thanks for listening.

July 30, 2004

I put my underwear on inside out this morning. Should have paid attention to that sign. It was a really shitty day emotionally. Alli and I did just fine for the most part – until lunch. We met Chris’ parents at Golden Dragon – and Greg & Cindy were there. GRRRRR. I was not in social butterfly mode and really not up to faking it. We sat down and then Mom offered to watch Alli while we got our food. I came back, set my blate down and went to get some soup. Mom’s sitting there talking to some friend of the family in my seat and doesn’t move so I can sit down and friggin eat. So she finally moves and I sit down. Of course Alli immediately starts to fuss and I have to soothe her with my right hand and try to eat with my left. ARGH. She got fussier and fussier. I had to leave after about 4 forkfuls. So I drive her home (she of course, FALLS ASLEEP halfway home) On the way home I was both relieved and pissed off. Relieved because she saved me from having to be social; pissed off because I didn’t get to eat. She woke up as soon as we got home and I fed her. Called my mom and cried. I was/am so completely emotionally exhausted that the prospect of a busy afternoon was absolutely overwhelming. Oh, and the doctor’s office called to reschedule my appt yet again on monday with the psychologist. So  told them that I just wanted to cancel the appt. Obviously they aren’t a reliable source of help for this sort of thing.

After I finished feeding Alli, Grandmama showed up. Once Chris and Mom got home, I just collasped. I ate, then I came into the bedroom and layed down.  I remember staring at the wall – just laying there trying to feel something – anything. I didn’t even go say goodbye to Grandmama. I didn’t have the strength. I think Chris is really starting realize how much of a toll all of this is taking on me. He let me sleep from 3-345p and then Alli needed to nurse.

The good part of this day was that once we put Alli to bed, we went and saw Spiderman II with Greg & Cindy. Was nice to get out and do something with other adults, even if it was just sitting in a dark theatre and watching a movie.

Chris is asleep next to me at the moment and our legs are intertwined. Well, they were. He just moved. I love him so much. I hate that he has to see me go through this but I’m also glad he’s the one I’m with – I know he will do anything to help and I really need that right now.

I’m pretty tired and my back and neck are still pretty sore. I better go to sleep – it’s the only time I don’t feel the pain.

Maternal & Child Comprehensive Center: My Dream

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As I have grown and continue to grow in my knowledge and support of women and families struggling with Postpartum Mood Disorders, so has a dream of mine. And right now, it is just that – a dream. One day I hope it will become reality. This dream would be realized in the founding of an all inclusive Maternal and Child Services Center.

The Center would be non-profit to allow for sliding scale fees so that no woman or family would have to be turned away. Women of childbearing age would be accepted – intake would consist of consultation with a Nutritionist, a Case Manager to aid in Mental Health, and of course, an OB or Nurse Midwife. Once pregnant, monthly visits with the OB or NM would continue until the eighth month of pregnancy with special appointments with the Nutritionist and Case Manager scheduled every three months or more often as needed. Doulas would also be available. Childcare would also be provided on site to remove the stress of finding child-care for appointments from the mother or family’s life. We would have on-site birthing and recovery as well as Postpartum Cottages for in-patient psychiatric care – homes where a Postpartum Doula and nurses would work round the clock as the family stayed together to recover – rather than being torn apart. Days for Postpartum Care would include therapy for both mom and dad as well as joint parenting classes. At night, Dinner would be a joint effort amongst all patients – creating socialization opportunities for confidence to bloom again in this area.

We would also offer on-site Pediatric Care with Pediatricians trained to recognize signs and symptoms in both mother and child of Postpartum Mood Disorders. Children would be eligible for this care until age twelve.

Regular support for breastfeeding, formula feeding, loss of breastfeeding relationship, infant loss, miscarriage, special needs infants, Postpartum Mood Disorders in both mothers and fathers as well as classes on infant massage, yoga, and other alternative treatment options for soothing stress in families with young children would also be available.

Overall, the primary staff would consist of a Center Director, Social Workers, Psychiatrist, OBs, Nurse Midwives, Lactation Consultants and Counselors, Doulas, Nurses, Nutritionists, Peer Support Specialists, Pediatricians and Childcare Specialists.

During the Childbearing years, it is of utmost importance women take care of themselves, their bodies, and their families. This Center would enable them to do so by informing and empowering them of their options as well as providing quality comprehensive care for every aspect of their lives during this time, something all women deserve to have access to, no matter what their social or financial standing.