Category Archives: infant

Post-Adoption Mood Disorders

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Only natural mothers get Postpartum Mood Disorders, right? Not so fast there… Mothers who adopt are also vulnerable although as an overall group the rate is typically lower than that of natural mothers. Yet it’s still there – the sleepless nights, the anxiety, the panic that sets in when given the care of a newborn child. And for Adoptive mothers, there’s the added pressure of feeling that they have to PROVE to everyone they are truly worthy of parenting this little creature with whom they’ve been entrusted. So these mothers are even more likely to hide their suffering to keep their babies from being taken from them after they’ve gone through so many hoops to get bring their precious angels home.

Read one adoptive mother’s experience from “Singing the Post-Adoption Blues”, an article written by Limor Gal at Haaretz.com, the online version of an Israeli newspaper:

“The first time I stayed alone with her, after a month when there had been people in the house all the time, I suddenly understood that this was not a doll that you put on the shelf and then go to sleep. It’s a little girl, she’s mine, and I have to take care of her. Suddenly I understood that it was a lifetime responsibility, and I wasn’t prepared for it. These were the first signs of the shock and the depression that followed.”

As Post-Adoption Depression is slowly being recognized, one doctor in the article states:

“The phenomenon is at a stage where postpartum depression was in the in the past,” says child and youth psychiatrist Dr. Miri Keren, director of the department for infants at the Geha Psychiatric Hospital in Petah Tikva. “There is almost no research information about it; in effect it is not yet really defined, and there is little awareness of its existence.”

These moms need our support too. It’s not just about supporting natural moms. It’s about supporting EVERY mom.

 

Not just US

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I found this story about a mother in Thailand who experienced Postpartum Depression and wanted to share it with you. Doctors across the world (not just here in the US) are struggling to better understand this condition. What’s really sad about this article is that there ARE no statistics regarding the prevalance of Postpartum Mood Disorders in Thailand and not much research on successful treatments available in their culture either.

Here’s an excerpt from the article and you can click on it to go to the full piece:

“During the nine months I was carrying my baby, I was happy with the expectation of her birth and had prepared myself reading child rearing books. But two weeks after giving birth, I started to feel confused and was not feeling cheerful.

“I thought I was well prepared but I felt so drained. My baby had colic. She cried every night for three months. When your child cries and you cannot do anything, you feel worthless.

“I also had to deal with the pain from the surgery and was prohibited from doing many things after giving birth. I could not wash my hair or drink coldwater. And my breast milk was dripping at all times. Both my body and mind were so exhausted. I was unable to sleep.

“At some point, I could not help thinking that I should never have had a baby. I was extremely depressed and had isolated myself. I often cried without reason. This lasted for about a month.

“Luckily, I found a book describing these symptoms and I realised that I was suffering from ‘postpartum depression’. I then talked to my husband and mother who were helping with the baby. They were understanding and took special care of me. When I started to feel tired, I would take a break and listen to songs, watch movies or read a book, while my husband and mother would take care of the baby. Eventually, my depression faded away. I think my family was able to help me handle the depression,” said Suweena Munowvaroc, 29.

 

Sharing the Journey with Karen Kleiman

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Yes, I know this month’s interviews are dedicated to moms of women with PPD but I am just so excited about this interview that I just had to put it up!

If you’ve been following this blog from the beginning (and thank you if you have!), you know that Karen’s book, What am I thinking? Having a Baby after Postpartum Depression was what I grabbed immediately after the positive pregnancy test. It was that very book that led to the inspiration for this blog so in a way, this is coming full circle for me because it was about this time last year that I found out I was pregnant.

Karen runs The Postpartum Stress Center in PA and her website and books are the first places I will send a new mom or family member. She’s got her stuff together and in my opinion has some of the best straightforward advice and information for women and their families! I am so honoured to be sharing this with you and even more honoured that Karen agreed to do the interview. Thanks Karen for all your hard work! Keep it up!

 

What led you to specialize in women’s issues?

To steal a line from my new book, “Ever since I was a young child, I wanted to be a mother.”  I remember playing with dolls and always taking on the role of the perfect mother.  I remember proudly asserting to my own mother, “when I grow up, I’m going to be a mother!”  After studying to be a therapist and then, becoming a mother myself, it felt natural to narrow my professional focus to women and their unique needs.

How did the idea for The Postpartum Stress Center come about and what brought it to fruition?

When my children were born, twenty plus years ago, I went back to work part-time as a social worker and trained to be a lactation consultant so I could connect with new mothers when I wasn’t working.  That experience provided one of my earliest exposures to the emotional upheaval of new motherhood.  Women started telling me how bad they were feeling.  (As you can imagine, if you can talk to a stranger about your nipples, you can talk about anything!)  I wasn’t sure if it was because I was a therapist or because they were so overwhelmed, it didn’t matter who was on the other end of the phone, but either way, I became aware of how many women weren’t feeling good after they had their babies.  Some felt bad about their babies, some felt bad about their marriages, some felt bad about them selves.  The common themes were: lack of support, exhaustion, and chronic worry. 

So when I went into private practice, I started studying postpartum depression to better understand what some of these women might be experiencing.   It didn’t take long for me to realize that most of these women were falling through the cracks of the medical community, remember, this was twenty four years ago.  No one was talking about postpartum depression like they do today.  As my practice developed and I started treating more and more women with depression, it was apparent how insufficient the healthcare system was in response to this great need.  This is when my clinical practice evolved into the next phase which included psycho-education, trainings, in-services, and writing, in order to enhance the community’s understanding and promote optimal treatment options.

As a mother yourself, what has been most challenging? Least challenging?

As much as I hate to admit it… this Empty Nest thing… I don’t love it.  It’s funny, I often think to myself how fortunate I am to have such a loving husband (twenty five years with me cannot be easy!), a fabulous career and all kinds of wonderful things to fill my days.  Still, it’s hard not to have the kids here.  Both are close enough to home, but, it’s not the same.

Least challenging?  Laughing with and about my kids.  You know that feeling that a new mother gets when she hears her baby belly laugh for the first time?  It’s like you want to stop the whole world and tell everyone to listen to this exquisite sound, as if no one had ever heard a baby laugh before!  Nothing in the world feels better than hearing your baby belly laugh.  And when the baby is 15 years old, or 21, or 24?  It feels exactly the same way.  It’s magical.

How has becoming a mother changed you?

Motherhood has inspired all that I do, most of what I say, and much of who I am.

What activity refreshes you the most when you’ve had a rough day?

I love coming home and sitting on the deck with my husband after a day’s work; surrounded by flowers, birds, dogs, good food, and lots of laughs.  It is actually essential to my well-being.  I get very cranky if I don’t laugh.

In your opinion, what aspect of motherhood should be celebrated the most?

I don’t think there is any aspect of motherhood that can be singled out to be celebrated.  I truly think all mothers, as well as fathers, always do the best they can at any given moment.   Women need to stop comparing themselves to others; they need to try to quiet the critical voice inside their own heads and believe in themselves.  Mothers need to learn to celebrate their own accomplishments, big and small, and realize the greatness in all that they do.  If they wait for appreciation from others, they will, undoubtedly, be disappointed and disillusioned.

What led you to write The Postpartum Husband?

After working with the postpartum population for some time, I began to realize that husbands were often kept out of the treatment loop.   As more and more partners were joining our sessions, I became aware of their enormous influence on the recovery process.  Not only did they need information and support, but their presence and their connection to the process made a significant difference in how women recovered.

Your book, What Am I Thinking?: Having a Baby After Postpartum Depression, was what I grabbed when I got my positive pregnancy result for Cameron and it really helped me to put a positive spin on my pregnancy – inspired this blog, actually. What went into the authorship of this book and why would you recommend it to women who are facing either a decision about pregnancy or an unexpected pregnancy after experiencing a Postpartum Mood Disorder?

Well as you know, the decision to get pregnant after experiencing a previous postpartum mood disorder is a difficult one.  In my practice, I have seen that women will feel more confident, more in control and less anxious if they have information.  The information gathered from a previous experience of depression can arm a woman with details that can help her learn a great deal about herself.  It has been shown that preparing for the postpartum period by fortifying her resources can reduce the likelihood of a full-blown depression.

  As with all the books I have written, the women I see in my practice have literally led the way.  They tell me what they need to know, which is how I determine what should be addressed.  Postpartum women have taught me what I know and what I need to teach others.  I’m so glad to hear my book helped support you through your pregnancy and postpartum period!  And it inspired this blog?  What a sweet thing to say.  I think this blog is such a fabulous idea and I’m certain it has offered much support to women going through similar circumstances.

 I hope you don’t mind me plugging my newest book which is due out this September.  “Therapy and the Postpartum Woman: Notes on Healing Postpartum Depression for Clinicians and the Women Who Seek their Help” (Routledge, 2008 ) will be a nice companion book for women with PPD who are either in therapy or considering therapy. 

Any sage advice for families currently experiencing issues with a Postpartum Mood disorder? What steps should they take to help Mom get better?  

Talk to her.  Sit with her.  Stay close to her.  Tolerate her anxiety and ambivalence.  Encourage her to contact her healthcare practitioner.  If she doesn’t, make sure she knows you will do that with her or for her.   Do not assume she is fine if she says she is.  Stay connected to the process.  Do what needs to be done to enable her to sleep, eat, rest and get out for fresh air.  Remind her she is loved and no matter how long this takes, you will be there.  Tell her she will not always feel this way. 

If there was one piece of advice you could give to an expectant mother (new or experienced), what would it be and why would this be important for her to hear? 

An expectant mother is at a turning point in her life.  She knows that no matter how things unfold, her life will never be the same.  This can be experienced with great anticipation or with great anxiety.  Either way, it is best to prepare by being mindful and attentive; to her own needs, to those of her partner and to those of her marriage.
 
For women who may be symptomatic during or after their pregnancy, I am reminded of a wonderful quote by Emory Austin:

“Some days there won’t be a song in your heart.  Sing anyway.” 

I need toothpicks!

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I am in serious need of toothpicks, tape, or several cases of Jolt Cola. (Do they even make that anymore?)

Cameron has been waking up at 4am this week. Last week it was 3am. He hit a new milestone last week – turning over onto his belly. This week he’s full force into teething and fussy mode. Fortunately teething tabs, a blankie, and the TV soothe him pretty quickly. As for me, I have been living on coffee and fumes. My mood is seriously paying the price and I have been very irritable and difficult the past couple of weeks. (Sleep deprivation sucks!)

But at the same time, I have to say that even with the exhaustion, I have truly enjoyed my quiet moments with Cameron. When we fell asleep on the couch the other morning, I woke up before he did. I snuggled against his soft fuzzy head and breathed him in, my heart soaring and melting all at once. I squeezed him as tight as I dared and drank in the moment so deeply I thought I would drown. As I was drinking in this beautiful infant moment, Alli and Charlotte’s screams of morning waking shattered the peace. I forced myself to block out their outside voices and focused instead on the joy in my heart and the tiny gift lying asleep on my chest – his body moving up and down with each breath, his hands moving ever so slightly here and there, soothed by his mother’s heartbeat and warmed by the maternal arms that wrapped around him as a sunbeam on an oak tree in the middle of July.

I do not take this for granted.

I do not forget to thank God for this experience.

And most importantly, I do not forget to lose myself in the joy of having a normal postpartum experience.

For it is one of the most awesome and breathtaking experiences I have ever had.

Sharing the Journey with Helena Bradford

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Welcome to the second interview in this month’s series, Mothers of Women who have Struggled with PPD. Today’s interview is with Helena Bradford, mother to Ruth. Helena has courageously dedicated her life to helping women with PPD through her foundation, the Ruth Rhoden Craven Foundation. She tragically lost Ruth to PPD as a result of inadequate medical care and lack of information provided by medical professionals and is passionate about not letting that happen to anyone else. Helena has a wonderful quote as part of her email signature and it has immersed itself in my life and has kept my bad days limited to being singular in occurence as I remind myself of WHO holds my tomorrow. I want to share it with you and thank Helena for sharing it with those who email her.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds,
but I know Who holds tomorrow.

Helena truly has turned her tragic loss into such a powerful and wonderful shining light, filling those who are suffering with hope and allowing them to know that yes, there are people who care and they are NOT alone in their suffering. Thank you Helena, for your bravery, optimism, perseverance, and compassion. All four are awesome traits needed in the PPD world and we are indeed a lucky community to have your dedication to improving and spreading knowledge and resources to women and families who need it!

  

What was it about your daughter’s experience with PPD that led you to start the Ruth Rhoden Craven Foundation?

 The fact that she received exceptionally poor treatment and died as a result. We received no information about PPD, no guidance in how to help Ruth stay alive, and no support from the medical community. We were certainly never told PPD was temporary and totally treatable, so these are some of the services we provide to the public through our Foundation. 

 How soon after your daughter gave birth did you begin to notice something wasn’t quite right with her? What were some of her primary symptoms?

 Shortly after delivery – like a day or two. Ruth’s symptoms included:  

  • I’m not sure I’m capable of taking care of this baby

  • Social withdrawal; behavior totally out of character

    Ruth made the statement she felt she needed to be institutionalized and that scared her to death

  • MEGA frustration and feelings of inadequacy – how can I do everything that has to be done and do it in a manner acceptable to me?

  • “Freaking out”, internally, every time the baby cried even though she knew there was someone there to take care of Andrew when she didn’t feel she could. Felt it was her responsibility – not someone else’s

  • Couldn’t sleep because her brain wouldn’t quit racing about how she was going to get everything done for the baby as well as her normal, everyday duties – mega problems with sleep deprivation

  • Found her on the floor in a corner between two large pieces of furniture one morning. When asked why she was there, she said she was hiding.

 

  What were some things that you drew strength from during this difficult time with Ruth?

 My faith in God and the support of friends and church family. 

 Has working with the Ruth Rhoden Craven Foundation taken Ruth’s tragedy and turned it into something positive for you?  

   Absolutely! I believe God has taken Ruth’s totally needless death and saved many lives through the story of her tragedy.  

 How uplifting is it for you when you are able to successfully help a woman and family in need?  

 Indescribably powerful and affirming. Being able to rescue moms and their families from the devastation of postpartum depression/perinatal mood disorders removes some of the senselessness of Ruth’s death. It gives positive meaning to her life and to the beautiful person she was.  

  Do you feel that the resources available to women with PPD have improved? 

 Yes they have, but we still have an exceptionally long way to go to eliminate tragedies and devastated lives and families as a result of PPD. I would say the majority of medical care givers and lay people are still totally ignorant of facts surrounding perinatal mood disorders and their treatment. That’s unacceptable.  

 

 What were some of the things you did as a mother to try to help Ruth?  

 I lived with Ruth and took care of her, the house and the baby for nearly 6 weeks. In addition, I brought her home with me a couple of times. For 2 ½ months, I was with Ruth more than I was away from her. Although that kind of support is crucial in battling PPD, it may not be enough if bad medical treatment is being received. It certainly wasn’t for Ruth. 

I tried to find good medical care for her but was unsuccessful. I wish I had taken her to Raleigh, NC where there is a PPD support group. I think she would have benefited tremendously from the group. 

 

 Tell us about your Walk/Run coming up in September that helps to raise awareness for PPD as well as funds for your organization. How did it get started? 

 Well, that’s a really neat story. One of the sweetest men in the world came to our house one night about five years ago to deliver an oxygen machine to my husband that his doctor had prescribed. While Gary was explaining the operation of the machine to us, we got off on the subject of the Foundation. After hearing Ruth’s story, Gary was in tears and said he wanted to do a fundraiser for us. THAT was the birth of the PPD Awareness Walk/Run. 

 The Run is held annually at Hampton Park in Charleston, SC. (For more information, please visit our web site at www.ppdsupport.org.) Both runners and walkers are invited to participate. Each year folks from all over our country, who work with PPD issues, travel to Charleston to participate. To me, that’s the most fun part because I get to meet the dedicated, passionate professionals and volunteers (some are PPD survivors) with whom I work throughout the year. 

 

 In your opinion, what should all expectant mothers know about PPD? 

  Postpartum Depression is totally treatable and is a temporary illness. No one needs to die as a result of it.  

  • There is help available. Please reach out for it, and don’t hesitate to change doctors if you feel you are receiving improper treatment or if you are not being heard. Postpartum depression is a valid illness that is equally as serious as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. Thank God, it is temporary if treated early on and properly

  • Although there are definite risk factors for experiencing PPD, to my knowledge there is no way to know who will experience it and who won’t. That’s why I feel good PPD information should be provided in all birthing classes.

Have a plan in place before symptoms appear – just in case you happen to experience PPD. Some of the things a plan should include are:

  • a psychiatrist who is experienced in treating PPD

  • a night nurse or postpartum doula to take care of the baby at night so the mom can get plenty of sleep at night. This is critical.

  • friends/family members who will help the mom for several weeks (minimum) after she comes home from the hospital 

    

 Any advice for other mothers whose daughters are struggling with a Postpartum Mood Disorder?

 Make sure your daughter finds the best available medical care. Help her understand medication is necessary in most cases, and there is nothing wrong with taking that medication any more than it is to take medication for heart problems, diabetes or a whole host of other physical ailments. PPD is a physical illness that just happens to affect the brain instead of some other “more acceptable” organ in the body. No one deserves or asks for PPD!