“Photo” by Kevin Rank @ flickr.com
“The winds that blow through the wide sky in these mounts, the winds that sweep from Canada to Mexico, from the Pacific to the Atlantic – have always blown on free men.”
~Franklin D. Roosevelt~
McDreamy. That’s how most women in America refer to the fabulous Patrick Dempsey. Then we sigh and our minds wander. There’s just something about him, isn’t there?
In addition to the portrayal of Dr. Derek Shepherd on Grey’s Anatomy, Patrick Dempsey also races cars. He’s been racing through Dempsey Racing, which formed in 2002. Racing is so important to Dempsey that recent contract negotiations for his continued appearance on Grey’s hinge on his ability to have time off to race – “The biggest point for me in negotiations is getting time off to come race, so if I don’t miss races, I’ll probably stay on ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’” (quote source: Huffington Post)
Not too far away from where I’m currently living is Virginia International Raceway, or VIR as it’s known to locals and racing enthusiasts. Back in June, American LeMans held a test day at VIR for several teams. I had no idea when my dad first mentioned going that Dempsey would be there. All I cared about was seeing the amazing cars.
I’ve been watching non-Nascar racing for quite some time now. We primarily watch F1 but given that there are no F1 tracks nearby, we settle for Grand-Am and now American LeMans if local events are attended.
I woke up early on June 14th to make the trek to VIR with my dad. After we paid for our entrance, we made our way to the Oak Tree corner to get started. The first race car came screaming around the curve, leaving me breathless. Then we went down to the top of the RollerCoaster, which was 
where I first saw Dempsey’s car pop over the hill. Only I didn’t know it was Dempsey’s car. It was quite simply, the most beautiful vehicle I’d ever seen on a racetrack.
It wasn’t until later in the day while meandering around the Pits that I realized Dempsey Racing was there. Then we overheard some VIR employees discussing his performance the day before. I whispered to my dad that if Patrick was indeed there, I simply had to meet him and he had to get a picture.
Dempsey’s car in the garage
As we continued to wander down through Pit Row, the sky darkened and we decided to go grab some lunch. Rain dropped down on us right as we reached the concession area but cleared up before we were through with our BBQ sandwiches and beer. We headed back over to Pit Row as all drivers are required to take at least an hour break during test days.
Thankfully, (or luckily) we managed to see Patrick as he stepped out of his trailer. He is a genuinely nice guy. The picture above was taken very quickly as he was heading somewhere on a scooter shortly after. He took the time to chat with my dad for a few minutes though and I was left in awe that I’d just met McDreamy.
This is where the story gets interesting.
I tweeted about meeting him (in a very 14 year old giggly girl manner):
So….I just met Patrick Dempsey. SQUEEEE.
— Lauren Hale (@unxpctdblessing) June 14, 2012
My phone barely had any power left but I received this response:
@unxpctdblessing Saw ur tweet re: Patrick (awesome, isn’t he?!) BUT my BFF suffers from PPD & PP psychosis. Reading website, linking her!!
— Erin (@lainey_vb131) June 14, 2012
So you see – Dempsey has this knack for saving lives and playing the hero without even trying.
@lainey_vb131 participated in #ppdchat the following week and still follows the chat, finding support with us even though she herself doesn’t suffer from Postpartum Depression.
When you do something you truly love, everything in your life is touched by it and nothing you do escapes without somehow translating into your primary function in life. Things like this prove again to me that I’m meant to help others with their journey through Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders. I’ve been struggling a bit with that but it’s what’s in my heart and what will always be in my heart. Just like racing is what’s in Patrick’s. Well, that, and heroically saving lives. Even when he doesn’t realize he’s doing so.
Thank you Patrick, for taking just a few seconds to say hi to me and agreeing to a quick picture. Because of your graciousness, another mom found my blog and the community surrounding it –so did her best friend– and now they are no longer alone. You rock.
One of my favourite romantic movies is the movie Serendipity with Kate Beckinsale and John Cusack. It’s everything romance should be – magical, whimsical, unexplainable, powerful, passionate, indescribable, and beautiful. It’s a perfect romance at it’s finest. The very heart of what we all crave in our own lives which is why movies like Serendipity move us so – they are the wish we long for within ourselves.
Some of us are fortunate enough to find a love like the one portrayed in the movies. We are blessed to find our person – the one meant for us by the universe. That clichéd phrase “When it happens, you’ll just know” and the cued cheesy romantic music as the couple walks off into the distance – none of us ever think it’ll really happen to us. It only happens in Hollywood, we tell ourselves. Unless you’re like me and you still believe in the fairytale, holding on tight and refusing to settle.
Those of you who know me and have seen my tweets or FB updates about happiness lately have probably wondered what’s up with me.
Love happened, that’s what.
I’m madly and deeply in love with an amazing man who is kind, caring, compassionate, lets me be me, and doesn’t require any masks of any sort. He is hilarious, intelligent, handsome, and fills my heart with happiness, joy, love, and peace. He knows my entire story and doesn’t judge me for any piece of it. There are no words, really, to describe how I feel about him. I told him the other day that “love” is a good place to start. The most amazing thing? He loves me right back…more, even, as he tells me often.
We’ve fallen. We don’t want to get up. Ever. We are happy. We are magic. We are love. We are together. And now you know why I’ve been cryptically talking about my insane happiness. I wasn’t looking – neither was he, really. Things just blossomed and BAM. Here we are, completely blown away by the magic unfolding between us.
I am so excited to finally be sharing this with all of you. There are no words to express how truly happy and magical I feel these days – none. I smile, a lot. My heart soars, my mind gets lost, and I am lost in thoughts of him, of us. There’s a freedom here I’ve never known – a joyous, happy freedom. I want everyone to know this kind of love. I am beyond grateful I do.
If this is a dream, please don’t ever wake me. I’ve found my Prince and I don’t intend to lose him.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJvgjH9Tvpo]
In 2011, I dove out of my life, headlong into a brand new one. I still have no idea where that life is going but I can tell you that it’s been a hell of a journey.
There were days when I wasn’t quite sure who I was. Days when I fell apart and didn’t want to get out of bed. Days when I reached the bottom, wanted to delve even further, and never come back up for air. There were days when I didn’t want to breathe. Days when I sat, for what seems like forever, in front of my netbook, begging my brain to cooperate so I can write something for this blog. Yet nothing comes so I write for other websites about non-postpartum issues.
After all of this, I finally know who I am. I like who I am.
Here’s the thing I’m afraid to tell you and afraid to tell myself but I’m going to say it anyway – I have no idea how to merge who I used to be with who I am now. I’m at a crossroads, foot firmly on the brake, unable to move forward in any direction.
Frozen.
Do I need to merge the woman I used to be with the woman I am now? Is it necessary for me to move forward? Has the merge already happened as I have grown over the past year? How do I continue to do what I do here as a single woman and no longer an active full time parent? Am I still qualified to provide advice and support? Are my experiences negated now that I have stepped out of the very life which caused them?
These are the thoughts which race through my head. The thoughts which give me reason to stop and wonder about the very future of my blog….about my future. When I was a stay-at-home mom, I fought for my identity as me. Now, I fight as me for my identity as a mother.
I have no doubt that the future which awaits me is filled with joy, happiness, love, and peace. A future in which I will no longer be lost to myself or to those closest to me. It is faith which has carried me this far and faith which will carry me until my days in this world are done. This is all I know, all I need to know. Learning to fully trust faith, to fully trust the plan laid out for my life, however, is the challenge I face now.
I am learning to lean hard on God with every day. In His time, I will understand and find my answers. Until then…I will wait, with joy in my heart, clinging to hope and fighting the ever closer creeping fear with fierce prayers emanating from my very soul.
This post written as part of a movement, Things I Am Afraid to Tell You. I realize it’s supposed to be more of a list, but this is how mine came out and I am okay with that.
You can find more brave bloggers sharing what they’re afraid to tell you here.
