I was born and raised in New Jersey. In the town I grew up in often had luxury vehicles from Lotus, Ferrari, Maserati, and Porsche cruising the streets. We had a Datsun, a Dodge, and eventually a Toyota Landcruiser and Toyota Pick-up truck.

I was teased mercilessly in elementary school for being poor. But the thing was – we weren’t really. Financially things were tight but if we struggled, I did not know it. I was loved, cared for, had food, clothes, books, and did not feel I was deprived of anything (Thanks mom & dad!)

When we moved after I finished the 6th grade to Virginia, I saw it as an opportunity to start over. So I did. Then there was college. And now I have been through hell and managed to make it all the way back.

My self-esteem has been all over the place throughout my life. To be honest, when I first saw this challenge, I cringed. I have a very hard time pointing out good things about myself. I suck at accepting compliments yet to a certain extent I crave them as a means to verifying that yes, I am worth it and yes, I do know what the hell I am doing. A lot of my daily self-talk is just that – I am worth it and yes, I DO know what I am doing.

This challenge wants us to list 5 of our strengths on a piece of paper and keep it with us. Review it daily.

I’m taking it a step further and splashing mine out there for the whole world to see.

1) I can take the worst circumstance in the world and make almost anyone laugh about it.

2) I am an excellent writer.

3) I am rocking this Motherhood gig.

4) I make a great listener.

5) I am very compassionate.

What are your strengths? Go, write them down. Be proud of them. They’re YOU!

Half way through the 21 day self-care challenge! Few things in life are more important than valuing ourselves. Yet numerous barriers exist in your head, depending on messages you heard as a child, to affirming your self-worth. Maybe focusing on your strengths feels too self-centered. Brain chatter chastises you to: “be humble. Nice girls don’t brag. Don’t be full of yourself. “ Psychologists concur that a healthy dose of self-esteem or self-value … Read More

via LIVING The Self-Care Challenge, Oct. 6-26, 2010

This is one that I KNOW I did the day of the challenge.

You see, growing up, my mother was always goofing off. Have I ever shared with you the time she chased me around the house with a dead chicken, making it cluck and everything? (Hi MOM! Are you red faced? Breathe. They don’t know your name!)

And my dad is the Sarcastic Emperor of the World. We used to practice at the dinner table.

I can’t remember a time in my life when comedy was not employed to help us get through the tough times. As a child, I lost a lot of family members to cancer. My mom drove home the necessity of comedy – If you can’t laugh, you’ll cry, she would say. To this day, even the worst days of my life have been punctuated by comedy and horribly dark jokes.

A recent issue found me curled up on the couch watching four hours of stand-up comedy. Yes, four hours. I was some sort of messed up.

I have go-to movies for laughs – in fact, if you haven’t seen Happy Gilmore or Nothing to Lose, I may have to disown you. Date Night is a brand new favorite.

Don’t get me started on sitcoms – Modern Family, The Middle, Raising Hope, Into the Wild, and Community are all bright spots in my week. I thrive on comedy.

Laughter truly is the best medicine.

When I was able to find the humor in my darkest of days, I knew I would be okay. It’s when I can’t crack jokes that you should start worrying about me.

I have even implemented a new house rule with the kids – I tickle them to unstoppable laughter at least once a day. We are ALL loving it! They do not let me forget it if I have not tickled them yet which I think is just awesome!

So go on – get to laughing!

Another day of the 21 day self-care challenge under your belt! “Laughter is the best medicine” is an old adage, but doesn't seem worn out or trite because it's true. Research has established that laughter helps cope with stress, by decreasing the stress hormones: cortisol and epinephrine. In fact, research shows that laughter even increases production of antibodies, facilitating the function of the immune system. Adults laugh only 17 times a day … Read More

via LIVING The Self-Care Challenge, Oct. 6-26, 2010

The challenge for Day Nine is making me smile.

Why?

Because when I was in therapy for Postpartum Mood Disorders a few years back, my therapist said something to me as I struggled to deal with a necessary confrontation with one of the other women helping me lead my Postpartum Support Group. The phrase my therapist said to me stuck with me, dramatically changing the way I function in day to day life.

“How other people react to you is NOT YOUR GIG.”

Everyone has their own baggage. We bring our own accessories to the party, if you will. Some of us bring helpful things like napkins, plates, utensils. Others bring fireworks, stink bombs, loud music, and rotten food. The best we can do with someone who does or says something inappropriate is to address it and move on. Their response is not reflective of your words – it’s more than likely rooted in a bad day, a bad experience, or an issue with which they are struggling to deal. You just happen to be there so they attack you. Their behavior, while yes, challenging your patience, maturity, and self-control, is not your responsibility to control. The only person YOU are responsible for controlling is you.

I take deep breaths, relax, think, and let a lot of things roll off my back that I would not have let go by the wayside prior to that conversation with my therapist. I am constantly asking myself if the outcome would be worth the battle. Is the behavior really that bad? Sometimes the answer is always yes. Other times, it’s no. Does it really matter how my daughter holds her fork? Eventually. But at dinner time when she’s just being a kid and I have had a long day – it’s okay if she wants to hold it upside down. But if she throws a temper tantrum in public? That I have to deal with and again, it’s not my fault. She’s struggling to deal with emotions she does not understand and it is my responsibility to guide her in the right direction. The calmer I stay, the faster the situation is resolved.

This Challenge is something which God has been slowly working with me on over the past few years as the result of a number of growing challenges. I like to think I’ve passed each and every one of them…. I hope.

Another ten minutes invested in the 21 day self-care challenge, refueling yourself for life’s demands. Brain chatter, self-talk, internal dialogue all refer to our thinking, i.e. nothing more than talking to ourselves. Psychologists recognize that our thinking affects mood, guilt, and the ability to handle life’s stresses. The word SHOULD is an example of self-talk that leads directly to feeling badly. “I should be more patient.” “I shouldn’t mak … Read More

via LIVING The Self-Care Challenge, Oct. 6-26, 2010

I loved Day Eight’s challenge. So much in fact, that I took Diane and Ann up on it which is part of the reason I have not been keeping up with blogging the 21 day challenge.

You see, my days, just like that of many mothers out there, is hectic. I wake at 615am (ish) to get my 6 year old and 4 year old off to school. Then our 2 year old wakes up. And he is a handful. I knew his sisters going to school would go one of two ways: Make him more independent or more dependent. It’s been the latter as of late and he’s been waking up earlier and earlier which means mommy is lucky to get a chance to even crack open her laptop before nap time.

A few days went by this past week without even opening my lap top until late in the evening after bedtime. Yes, I tweet but I can sneak in tweeting here and there from my PDA. Blogging is a little harder to do. Even right now, I’m hiding out in my son’s room, away from the hub bub of the children. Despite that my husband is awake, if they need something, it’s mommy they’re coming to – regardless of how many things I may be attempting to complete at that time. (And right now? My husband is talking to me about his blog as I type. But that’s a whole ‘nother post for another day)

Day Eight’s challenge was to take care of your sleep by making yourself go to bed 10 minutes earlier. Sad to say that 10 minutes earlier would have been 1:50am most nights. Remember that I wake my kids up at 615 for school? Yes, I have been napping, not sleeping. SO not taking care of myself.

I am happy to report that this past week?

I have been in bed before midnight most nights with the exception of the past two nights.

I hope to continue this trend this next week. On days when I have been to bed earlier, I have felt much better the following day. I have not been nearly as grumpy, short-tempered, bleary-eyed, groggy, ready to fall over at 10:00 a.m, and not been glogging down the coffee as quickly. It’s been lovely.

So thank you, Diane & Ann – I owe my extra sleep this week to this challenge!

Cheers to you—an entire week of the 21 day self-care challenge completed! Sleep experts say that 74% of adults are sleep deprived. Rather than the recommended 7.5 to 8 hours nightly, the average is 6.9 hours, an hour less than in 1990. Women forego sleep because of our “do it all” mentality. Sleep deprivation impairs ability to reason clearly, to maintain alertness (e.g. for driving), to solve problems, and to remember. Let alone to stay calm and … Read More

via LIVING The Self-Care Challenge, Oct. 6-26, 2010