Just bagged up the breastmilk I pumped this morning (nearly 9oz! thanks to engorgement!) and as I was holding the bag in my hands it hit me just how amazing breastmilk is and even more amazing is the miracle that not only can a female body sustain life during pregnancy, it is designed to sustain once baby is born. What a true miracle!
I am sitting here hooked up to my pump – gotta leave sustenance for the little one while I’m gone on Friday. Can’t have him starving and screaming. That wouldn’t make anyone happy, now would it?
In an effort to get back into the blogging mood, I’m going to start posting whenever I can grab a second. So forgive me if this is overload at first but I’ve been out of practice for a bit – you know, with the birth of the baby and all.
I have to say that this time around things have been so much different. Being able to laugh and smile and play with Cameron without having to force myself to is refreshing. And I LOVE to pick him up and hold him right on my chest so that his heart is right over mine. I feel as if we are communicating and our hearts are one – it blows me away every time how powerful holding him that way can be for me. I NEVER felt that with either one of the girls. And yes, it does make me sad to think I didn’t really bond with the girls the way I am bonding with him BUT the girls are both happy and get plenty of love now and don’t seem to be scarred at all by that experience. Recently I’ve really been mourning the loss of bonding with Charlotte when she was an infant but lately she’s been very cuddly and huggy so it’s making up for it slowly.
Gotta run. I think I may try to crawl back into bed for a short bit. Pray that I made it!
I have my first “big” speaking engagement on Friday and I can feel myself starting to get nervous. I know I’ll be fine. I’m really looking forward to meeting Katherine Stone and Dr. Jeffrey Newport. I am more in awe that I have been asked to speak along with them than anything else and it speaks volumes to me as to how far I have come since giving birth to my first daughter and struggling through those first dark days of Postpartum OCD all alone. I have found immense comfort in the knowledge that I will never be alone again and that has made all the difference this time around. (Ok, that, and the meds. I can’t forget about the meds.)
I’d like to take this opportunity to again thank everyone who believed in me and has supported me through this endeavor – especially my husband who lived through it all with me and is still here (although snoring at the moment) and as strong as ever. Amazement really doesn’t do this justice – the journey I’ve been on has been such a treacherous and yet fantastically awe-inspiring one at the same time. I can’t wait to share it on Friday and hopefully educate and light the way for other women to emerge from their PPD coccoon with as much strength and energy and support as I have.
there were two little girls, Allison & Charlotte. They lived in a cottage in the woods with their parents and two precious puppies.
One day, Alli & Charlotte were walking through the woods when they found a magical egg. Charlotte shrugged her shoulders and said “eh?” then touched the egg. POOF! Alli & Charlotte were magically transported to the land of Politeness where everyone said Yes Ma’am, No Ma’am, Please, and Thank You.
In the middle of Politeness was a giant purple gum drop. No one dared touch it because they didn’t know what would happen if they did. Charlotte again shrugged her shoulders and said “eh?” and suddenly they were back at home, snug in their beds, dreaming about the purple gum drop.
(I made up this story and told it to the girls right before nap time. Totally spur of the moment. Not bad, huh? To top it off, Alli told the story to Daddy tonight at dinner. AWWWWWW)
This morning while nursing Cameron at the appointed hour of 630a (he’s my little alarm clock!) I checked my email via my PDA and got a lovely surprise in my email from Google Alerts, letting me know that Karen Kleiman had posted about me at her blog. I am honoured to be mentioned by the woman who, through her book, What am I thinking: Having a Baby after Postpartum Depression, was the reason I started this blog to begin with.
Thank you Karen for the honor and for all your hard work in the PPD world!