Tag Archives: silence

When a Blog Goes Silent

I’ve been quiet this summer, save for a few posts here and there.

As I’ve blogged before, there has been a lot of change flowing through my life lately.

I’m still running #PPDChat but increasingly quiet on Facebook and Twitter as well. I haven’t had a video chat in what feels like weeks. Between visits with my kids, falling in love, and re-defining myself (again), there’s been a lot of time spent in my head and focusing on what’s really important to me these days – actually LIVING life.

In the dust though, I’ve been ignoring this place, this blog which kept me sane during my pregnancy with my third child and has allowed so many women to feel supported and less alone as they too navigate the trails of Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders.

I’m silent here because I’m not sure what to say in this space right now. I know that working with women through the Postpartum period is something I want to continue doing. But right now, I’m not sure how to fill this space, how to speak about Postpartum Mood Disorders when my experience and understanding of my experience has literally been redefined over a lot of internal re-evaluation over this past year.

Sure, I can discuss the latest news, issues, etc, but that’s what Katherine Stone over at Postpartum Progress is best at and I certainly don’t want to duplicate her work. What I do here is my thing – it’s filled with heart, compassion, understanding, and my goal is to put forth the feeling of the comfort of reading a letter from a girlfriend who GETS WHERE YOU ARE and can assure you that there’s a light at the end of your tunnel. I freeze when I don’t feel as if I am writing with all of my heart. I freeze if I am not giving things my all. I know what it’s like to not get support and don’t want to give you anything but my very best. Because when you’re hurting and lost in the vortex of a Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorder, you deserve NOTHING BUT THE BEST COMPASSION I CAN GIVE YOU.

Right now, as I let the dust settle (again), in my life, I hope you’ll be patient and understanding. Know you can find me on Twitter. Or if you aren’t on Twitter, go follow my FB  page and drop me a message there. Or email me. It may take me longer to get back to you via email though, so please be patient.

My words are somewhere out there, my passion is still burning deep inside me. It just needs a vacation as the scaffolding and remodeling continues within.

Here’s to looking forward to a grand re-opening and here’s to hoping that it’s right around the corner.

PANDA Perinatal Depression Video

I just watched the most amazing trailer for a Perinatal Depression Video, entitled “Behind the Mask: The Hidden Struggle of Parenthood.”

It’s done brilliantly, respectfully, and you HAVE to watch it. And then you have to share it with every single person you know.

This DVD is part of an initiative to get people talking about Perinatal depression in Australia. According to their profile at YouTube, PANDA is a national, not for profit organisation whose helpline provides confidential information, support and referal to anyone affected by depression and anxiety during pregnancy and after childbirth, including partners, family members and friends.

Thank you, PANDA. Thank you.

Go here to watch the video. Now. Why are you still here?

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When it comes to toddlers, Silence is NOT Golden!

Unless it’s at night when they’re supposed to be asleep, that is. Sudden silence eminating from the corner in which your toddler has been auspiciously romping around in is every toddler parent’s worst nightmare. For it is when we hear this silence that the hairs on the back of our neck rise up, the eyes we have developed in the back of our heads peer around in a hopeless attempt to evaluate the damage we will undoubtedly be facing in mere seconds. All of this happens in a fraction of a second as the world swirls to a slow stop around us and our mouths open to call out to our supposed angelic toddler who knows the difference between right and wrong but chooses to temporarily suspend this knowledge – sort of a pre-historic agnostic if you will. As your toddler rises up, your breath becomes trapped deep in your lungs, awaiting to see if it will be exhaled gently or hurled against the wall like a racquetball.

Most of the time at my house, it’s not exhaled gently. Today Charlotte had gotten ahold of the aqua-doodle pens (they were full), opened them, emptied them, and proceeded to chew on the caps. Not a huge problem except that the caps are a little small and she likes to put things COMPLETELY into her mouth. And of course, this happened while I was nursing Cameron so there I was, pinned to the couch by a 15lb three month old making vain attempts at getting Charlotte, who just turned two on Friday, to give me her new “toys.” It took me ten minutes, five of which was spent with Alli and Charlotte screaming and crying because I tried to get Alli to get them for me which is sometimes more successful – they have that toddler-sister bond and sometimes Charlotte will just hand things to Alli. Not this – oh NO! Not her new chew toys!

Like I said. Silence isn’t always golden but man, when it is – it REALLY is.