Watch A Sitcom? No, I just live my life.



(The following is an informal attempt at a sitcom script of my afternoon from 4p – 5p)


Mom (That’s me, 30 yo, pregnant with third child, exhausted)

Alli (3 yo daughter in the midst of potty training and has sensory issues)

Charlotte (16 month old, napping)

 Open: Living room, toys scattered. Mom curled up in recliner, she’s covered in a soft camel blanket. Cell phone alarm goes off. Mom reaches over and turns it off. Curls back up and goes back to sleep. Five minutes later, Cell phone alarm goes off again. Mom’s arm juts out from under the blanket and hits the cell phone button. Arm retreats back under blanket, Mom shifts a little bit. Nine minutes later, Mom decides to get up. Throws blanket off, shoos the dogs off the chair, and makes her way to the bathroom. On the way, she discovers Alli in the process of pooping in her room. Grabs paper towel. Cleans it up. Carries it to the potty. Alli comes with her.

Alli: “Mommy, I’m all sticky!”

Mom: “Ok honey, well, we’ll do a rain bath. Get in the tub.”

Alli climbs into the tub.

Alli: “I don’t want the toys!” Alli starts to cry.

Mom: “Well then pick them up and put them in the bag.”

Alli: “ok” Alli squats and begins to pick up the toys.

Mom flushes toilet. Not working.  

Mom: “Great.”

Mom reaches over to turn the faucet on. Not working either.

“Alli, we can’t do a rainbath. Water isn’t working.”

Alli: Why?

Mom: I don’t know why.

Alli: Why?

Mom: (frustrated): I don’t know why.

After cleaning Alli with wipes, they leave the bathroom. Alli runs around the kitchen, demanding a snack over and over. Mom goes to living room to get phone to call water company.

Mom: Yes, my water’s been shut off. Is this for non-payment or because y’all are having another problem?

Water Company: Non-payment, ma’am.

Mom: Well is there anyway you can turn it back on if we promise to make a payment in the morning? ALLI! Don’t DO THAT! PUT THAT DOWN!

Water Company: No ma’am. We can’t do that. We have to have a payment.

Mom: Fine. Mom hangs up and calls Dad.

Dad: Hey, what’s up?

Mom: Our water’s been shut off.

Dad: WHAT!?!

Mom: Yup. It’s off. For non-payment. ALLI! PUT THAT DOWN!

Dad: Well, what are we going to do?

Alli: I want a snack! I WANT A SNACK! I WANT A SNACK NOW!

Mom: Alli, give me a minute! I don’t know what we’re going to do. That’s why I called you.

Dad: Well see if they will take the debit card number and run it in the morning.

Mom: *sighs* Ok. Mom calls the water company back.         

Mom: I just called and was wondering if I could give you the debit card number and have you run it in the morning and you guys could then turn my water back on now?

Water Company: No ma’am. We would have to run it as soon as we got it and besides our guys got off at 4p so they wouldn’t be able to turn it back onto today anyway.

Mom huffs.: Fine! I’ll be calling back in the morning then.

Mom fixes Charlotte’s bottle and calls Dad back.

Dad: What’d they say?

Mom: No go. Plus their guys got off at 4 so they wouldn’t be able to turn it on today anyways.

Dad: Great. You gonna be here to pick me up by 5?

Mom: Yeah. Just gotta give Charlotte her bottle and I’ll be on my way.

Mom and Alli go into the living room to get Alli dressed. She puts on her blinky sandals and while Mom is getting Charlotte up, Alli gets the boppy and sits on the couch with it. Mom comes into the living room with Charlotte.

Alli: I wanna give Charlotte her bottle.

Mom: Ok honey, go for it.

Mom lays Charlotte down on the boppy and helps Alli guide the bottle into Charlotte’s mouth. Alli plays with Charlotte’s hair and gives her kisses as Charlotte drinks her bottle. Mom takes pictures. Once Charlotte is done, she starts to cry. Mom picks her up and turns the TV off.

Mom: Let’s go. We gotta pick daddy up.

Alli: ok!

Alli runs over to the door. As mom opens the door, the family discovers it’s raining. Alli darts outside to play in the puddles. As they get in the rain, Charlotte starts to giggle as the rain hits her. Alli plays in the rain drops. Mom gets Charlotte secured. Alli keeps splashing.

Mom: Alli! Come here! Alli continues to play.



Alli runs over and stomps in the muddy puddle. Mom picks her up and puts her in the car. Alli whines about being wet. Mommy explains that’s what happens when we play in the rain. Mommy gets in the car and starts it. The belts squeal a bit so mom turns off the AC. Belts continue to squeal down the road. Mom begins to smell burning rubber and watches the temperature gauge. As they pull onto the main road, the temp gauge spikes. An accident in the left-hand lane ha s traffic backed up. Mom turns the heat on, opens the windows, and prays fervently that the car makes it home. Mom calls Dad.

Mom: Can’t pick you up. I popped a belt.

Dad: You’re kidding.

Mom: Um, no.

Dad: Well, I’ll see what I can work out.

At the traffic light while waiting to make a u-turn, Mom desperately wants to bang her head against the steering wheel but doesn’t because of Alli. Mom begins to pray that Dad can get a vehicle so she can make it to therapy in the morning. If therapy has to be cancelled, that would be IT. Dad manages to get a vehicle.  ____________________________________________________________________________

In summary, from 4pm-5pm pretty much sucked yesterday. I am now watching Radio in an attempt to make myself cry just for the sheer release but so far nothing and I’m an hour and 19 minutes into the movie. Don’t know if it will happen or not. I’m not much of a crier when things go wrong. I get irritable and angry. I almost wish I was a crier. Sure would make releasing all this tension easier… Therapy was VERY therapeutic this morning and I wish it could have lasted longer – even my therapist commented that we probably needed a three hour session or so. It had been two weeks since my last session so I had the poopy painting, chris’ wreck, and then yesterday to vent about. A LOT for just a one hour session. I almost started crying on the way home from therapy but not quite. I know I need to but I just can’t. I almost can’t until I do because I know that once I do, I will feel so much better.

And in an update, water is now back on. My car has been fixed and is ready to be picked up. And Alli hasn’t painted yet this afternoon *knock on wood* and is actually not screaming for me every five minutes. *sighs* Now if I could just have that cry, I’d be good to go!

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